Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Where's The Reset Button Again?

So I had to leave Cape Town for Amsterdam this past weekend. Work commitments for a big, tough week this week mean I'll be missing Kelly's dad's Memorial tomorrow. :(

I calculated that every single week for the past 5 weeks or so, I've been in a completely different country. OK, so I've been rotating between the 3 cities - Singapore, Cape Town and Amsterdam (and if you count my starting point as Sydney when this whole journey began, then that makes it 4 cities/ countries).

It was kind of surreal jumping back on the plane to come back here. I thought I was flying South for some reason... but I'd already done that the week before, so I was really flying North this time. And because I was so disoriented by the time I rocked up to my '80s Beige Heaven apartment in Amsterdam, I decided to roll out my yoga mat after unpacking.

I was convinced I could do a full Primary practice (after a 12-hour flight, without having practiced at all the previous week, except for the short practice I'd had in the Schipol Airport Meditation Centre the week before). HAHAHA. I got up to Paschimottanasana, and that was it. It felt like I needed more backbends and forward bends after that, so that's what I did.

And the tears came. I think I was just relieved to finally be on my mat again. Or maybe I was just relieved that I could finally be in one place for a longer period than a few days or for more than even one week. Or maybe it was grief at Kelly's dad's passing. Or maybe it was finally letting go of everything in the past month or so that had made its way at me, fast and furiously.

Interestingly, even though I got up to Paschimottanasana "only", it was a really good practice. Ha! Take that, EGO.

Yesterday, I went to check out the only shala in town that has early morning Mysore ONCE A WEEK. While I might have bitched and moaned about it before, now I am grateful that there's at least this one place. Coincidentally, the teacher who takes this morning Mysore class was also there yesterday evening, and we had a nice chat. I like her. She only teaches this one morning class, so I dunno why she was there yesterday evening. Maybe to tell me that I should get my bum outta bed tomorrow and get to her class before work. :)

I'm excited coz the space looks really beautiful. This is it, taken from their website:

Inspired by this, I got outta bed early this morning and finally practiced the full Primary series in my living room. Self practice is hard. I got up a few times to blow my nose, but that was the only physical distraction. The mental chatter was pretty loud initially, but that also died down towards the end.

Every single dropback had a bonk-on-the-head landing, and I could only stand up properly from backbends ONCE out of all 3 attempts. Wow. I wonder how long it'll be before I get them back to how they used to be.

I think for the rest of this week I'll keep practising the Primary series (at the shala tomorrow, then in my living room for all the other days), and I'll get back to the Intermediate series from Sunday.

There, I think I've just worked out some kind of self-practice plan. Dammit. Self-practice is hard.


  1. Hey Jaime!

    I'm so glad you're back in Beige Heaven and were smart enough to get on the mat. Practicing after or during a hard time in life is therapeutic but hard- I'm proud of you for doing it! And practicing to Paschimottanasana is great!!

    The yoga space you found is gorgeous. Love those white walls and the cool white washed floor. Sorry the mysore-style is only offered once a week. Self practice is VERY hard- I agree.

  2. 4 countries in 5 weeks and you weren't even on holiday? That's pretty intense.

    Glad to hear that things are settling down for you and you're back to your practice. The endurance and the poses will come back fast.

    (Love the new shala - wow, gorgeous!)

  3. hi Skippetty
    good that you're finding some ground. seems you're not afraid of the bonking the head in dropbacks. it may be my instintive fear of that, or of jamming the neck clavicle or s'mthin that has kept me from hurling back without being held by a teacher. haha.

  4. Thank you for being my personal cheerleaders, Liz & Kai! Unfortunately, due to an early start for work today, I couldn't get to the gorgeous white space. Sigh. :(

    Arturo - these bonks now are lighter bonks. When I first first went for it half a year ago, I'd completely bonk my head heavily and crash out on the floor completely. But that was coz my arms weren't outstretched and straight enough which I soon figured out. After about a week or 2 of wiping out completely, I got it. I think my spatial awareness is a bit off! (and it's not about hurling back actually - it takes complete control all the way to the bottom!)

  5. hi Skippetty
    hehe, yes, i know it's not about hurling oneself back. it just feels like that psycho-emotionally speaking.


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