Handstands, Dropovers & the Final Dhanurasana's Coming Along

Yesterday was Australia Day. Given that Australia isn't a Republic (yeah, they still pay the Queen to use the Union Jack in their flag and to use her image on their currency... oh, and Prince William just made a 3-day rockstar tour here too. Not bad in exchange for paying them off. HAHA.) (Oh dear, my Ozzy friends are gonna clobber me now. I am only joking).

Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy! OY! OY! OY! (By the way, I thought all along that this phrase was a JOKE. But evidently it's not. Everybody was going around town yesterday shouting this out. It was really funny.)

Anyways, Teacher was really pushing everyone hard yesterday. She made one of my friends do 6 dropbacks (that's double her regular practice)... and she made me do handstands and dropovers to backbend - THREE times. Handstands aren't a regular part of my practice - if Teacher's Assistants are helping me with whatchamacallitasanas-crossed hands on chest and dropback- then they usually don't get me to do handstands afterwards.

Only if Teacher herself is assisting me, she'll sometimes get me to do handstands/ dropovers. I think she checks out my energy level first and determines whether I can go for it or not.

I was fine after the first one, then she said "Again". I was like ?!? (I've only ever done them once at a time). So OK... I did it again.

After the second one, she said "Again".

This time, I was like ?!?!?????@$&^$&!@(*&#$???

She physically dragged me from the top of my mat to the back of it coz I think I was digging my heels in. HAHA. I said out loud "SERIOUSLY? AGAIN?!?" (my friend who had just done 6 dropbacks and nursing her jelly legs by now heard me from across the room. Heh.)

Teacher said "Well, what are you doing after this? It's a holiday today, right? So... do it again." Phwoar. She can be pretty hardcore.

I forgot, or more like I couldn't find my bandhas on the 3rd go. HAHAHA. So I fell out, and had to jump up AGAIN. She let me hold for only 2 counts on the final handstand. At least she's kind too.

ANYWAYS... After TODAY's practice, she asked me how I felt today, and whether yesterday's handstands wiped me out. I actually felt pretty OK today, not too tired at all. So Teacher said "Good. Your stamina's coming along." ...and then she said she knows she gave me a good whack of poses in one shot in intermediate (remember when she gave me Salabhasana to Parsva Dhanurasana in one go?) - and she said this makes it really intense, but good for building stamina.

Ohhhhhhhh. My Teacher is wise.

And interestingly, now that I'm back to a more regular practice schedule this week, these Parsva Dhanurasanas are starting to feel a bit more real ("Real" in the "I own it!" sense). I mean... that final Dhanurasana initially made me feel like I was going to die and brought up all these angry thoughts... but the past couple days I've been starting to feel the length and extension in the pose. My mind is a little more quiet now too. :)

On a different note, I came across this hilarious picture of a boy dressed as... er... a helmet-less Darth Vader. Geez, I think his parents must have a pretty sick sense of humour (and I like it).

(Picture from here)

Cutting Up Primary, Handstand Screams & I'm OFF!

Today, Teacher told me to go from Parsvottanasana straight to Paschimottanasana (and then continue to my 2 Intermediate poses at the end).

Woooooot!

I have no idea what the thinking is, and OK, so it's nowhere near splitting the series either... but if I get to cut out about 5 poses from the Primary series, I'm not complaining. Hehehe. (Anybody care to comment why you get to cut out poses now? ...simply so that your practice gets a tad shorter?)

It's funny how your brain gets scrambled just by shifting a little bit of the sequence that your body's so familiar with, since it's been practiced a certain way day in and day out. After Parsvottanasana, I did a vinyasa and came to seated and instead of going into Paschimottanasana, I sat in Dandasana for 5 breaths. It wasn't until I was into B variation of Paschimottanasana that I realized what I'd done.

W.E.I.R.D. I guess I've always just associated Dandasana with the "next section" of the Primary series. It's the first pose of the seated poses after all, and I find it kind of centers my focus.

It certainly hadn't centred me today though - coz after all the Paschimottanasanas, instead of going into Purvottanasana, I folded my leg in for ABP Paschimottanasana. HUH? I NEVER get my primary sequence scrambled (well, not in a long time since I learnt the series by heart ages ago anyway). I realized my mistake before I exhaled forward and corrected myself.

Wow, cutting out 5 poses really does mess with the sequencing in my head!

After dropbacks and what-the-heck-do-you-call-it-againasasana (cross arms in front of chest and get assisted dropbacks 3 times and go down fully on the 4th)... Teacher said "Handstands".

I used to love handstands. I have no idea why now, but the thought of handstands now fills me with DREAD and IMPENDING DOOM. I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe because I realize now how much more work I need to get done before I get a near-perfect handstand done? Anyways, my brain went "BLERRRRGGGGHHHHH" as I prepped myself.

I bunny-hopped up easily enough, I think Teacher was supporting me quite a bit for this coz I've always had trouble getting hips over the shoulders, and today's handstand felt quite strong. She let go of my legs and put her hand (I think?) in the small of my back and kept tapping me on the front of my thigh but I wasn't budging (I couldn't quite connect what she was telling my body to do). She got fed up with me and said "Just TRUST ME and let go there".

There are just too many things going on in my head in a handstand - I used to have a similar internal dialogue with the other pose I struggled with for a long time... Supta Kurmasana. It feels like your brain is gonna BURST out of your head with all the screaming thoughts you've got going on (y'know, kinda like when Sharath forced me to stay in headstand for his full horribly LONG counts). I no longer have internal screams in Supta K, in fact, it's a pretty peaceful pose for me now. I've transferred these big screams to my handstands now.

It goes a little like this:
"SUCK IN YOUR BELLY! KEEP THE FEET TOGETHER! POINT THE TOES UP! PRESS DOWN THROUGH EACH FINGERTIP!! STOP ARCHING YOUR BACK SO MUCH! (This is definitely my problem in handstand) MELT YOUR HEART MORE! (A technique I learnt from my Anusara teacher) KEEP THE HIPS OVER THE SHOULDERS! DRISHTI AHEAD! DRISHTI!DRISHTI!DRISHTI! STRONG LEGS! KEEP GRIPPIIIIIING!"

I think I let go wherever she was telling me to, then she helped flip me over to a backbend and went to assist someone next to me. So I stood up on my own from the backbend. I felt major SFS (Spatchcock Feet Syndrome) in this. Too tired to be bothered with feet alignment. Then I sat down, relieved, but Teacher said "One more time".

BLERRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

StupidStupidStupid Handstands.

So I did it again. This time, something felt like it connected a bit more, for a split-second at least. It felt like she only had a finger or a hand on my back, with no other support (I think? I couldn't see, so can't tell). But I felt a lot more stable this time round. Then a flip over to backbend again (Is this called a tic or a toc again? ...Or is it neither of the above?)

OK, so it wasn't so bad this time. I can conclude now that 3 nights of Christmas Cake for dinner didn't really affect my practice as much as I thought it might have. Hehehe. All binds are still there. And I was surprisingly strong today too. The body sure is weird like that, innit?

Anyways troops, I'm off to Bali tomorrow for a week for this wedding that I've been talking about. It'll be a nice break from stuff (I hope!) ...I don't plan to bring my laptop with me coz I think I need to decompress from the interwebs a little bit (I'll still have my Blackberry with me though. Gulp.)

So... no updates from me for about a week - but I'll come back with photos from the beach to make you very jealous. I still have awful tan lines on my... er... decolletage from when I got burnt from helping out at the Cancer Council Bondi Beach event (yes, the irony). So I will look really weird in my strapless bridesmaid's dress in all those photos forever and ever, Amen. DAMMIT!!

Anyways, hope you have a Happy New Year and all... and if you can't be good, be good at it. ;p


(Photo credit here. I heart LOLcats very much.)

Girly Things, Handstands & Core Strength

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about how I've started getting into jewelry-making, and how I'd made these pair of earrings to wear with my bridesmaid's dress at one of my best friends' wedding at the end of this year (Bali, here I come! WOOOOOT!)


So the earrings are a little bit too DRAMA for the other 2 bridesmaids (we're all wearing the same strapless turquoise/ teal taffeta dresses), but they requested I make them some jewelry to go with their dresses too.

As an aside, getting the Ann Taylor dresses to 3 bridesmaids all over the world (Try: USA, Singapore, Australia. Oh, and the bride's in the UK) was a mission and a half but thank the stars we got them all in time and everyone's had a chance to alter their dresses already. I can't seem to link to a bigger picture, but you can see the dress in full here


Geez, I feel like I'm in a chapter of Pride and Prejudice or something... y'know... when Elizabeth Bennett and her posse get all excited over choosing fabrics and gems to make outfits for the many soirees they're attending.

So off I went to the bead store again. I thought I'd make everyone different pieces, but use the same Swarovski crystals and Czech glass.

And here's what I've got after a couple of night's work (plus I had missing pieces and not enough findings/ spacers and the like and had to traipse to and from the store a couple more times in between...)

Sam requested a really simple one-strand necklace since she likes things fuss-free (and she doesn't have pierced ears either). And this is her necklace:



She wants it a little shorter, so I'll bring my tools with and customize the length to exactly as she'd like it. Beadmeister to the rescue!

And Caroline didn't mind a necklace/ earring set so here's what she got:




Not bad for a couple nights' work. (Hmm... I'm actually preferring Caro's necklace to my earrings now. Pfft!)

With barely a week to the wedding (and requisite hen's night. EEK!) I'm up to my eyeballs with organizing stuff. Does anyone have any good suggestions on what happens at a hen night? We're renting a private villa for the night and organizing a goddess ritual blessing for the bride (at her request)... but after that... er... WHAT?!

Do you play games or sit around and chat? (If yes to games - WHAT?!) We don't particularly want to get her completely off her face since the wedding will be 2 days later. Plus, getting shit-faced isn't exactly a meaningful send-off from singlehood, is it? (OK, I'm showing what a goody-2-shoes dork I am here, right?) I just feel it ought to be more meaningful than getting drunk (if albeit elegantly wasted.)

On to today's practice update. After dropbacks, Teacher said "Handstands". Yippee! As you may recall, a few months ago, one of Teacher's Assistants stopped me from doing handstands altogether "Not until you can at least dropback" was what she had explained. I was having trouble bunny-hopping straight up with both legs anyway - not enough core strength! (We are in no way allowed to kick up with one leg. Must use both legs at the same time!)

I was extremely hesitant, but surprisingly, today's bunny-hop up felt easy, and finding that point of balance seemed OK too (although it was very much assisted with Teacher's hand guiding my legs, of course). Susananda was right when she commented recently that once Sirsasana is strong, handstands will become a bit easier. I have been holding Sirsasana for much longer than before and coming down to legs at 90 degrees direct from Sirsasana as much as I can (I used to take a rest in between. I still do this sometimes, but trying to do away with it).

And I've been finding more core strength in Sirsasana which kicked in during Handstand balancing today. Funny how some poses affect the other poses (in a good way).

Evolution of a Backbend (After Much Rambling)

The new shala is great. It's got a light feel to it, we're facing a balcony that has gorgeous plants and a water feature... the whole space feels like it's a lot bigger than the previous shala (coz it is!) It can now comfortably fit slightly more than 30 people, with loads of room to move around in (I'm sure if we squeezed we could get 40 - 50 mats in. But why would you wanna do that?)

BUT... I guess this is also part of the teething problems/ working out a new space issues. Today I felt like I needed to put on my sunglasses and sunscreen during practice. That would've been funny. Get my bling on.

I've been moving around, practicing in different spots of the shala, just to get a feel for the different areas. I don't like being in the center-front of the room. When the sun rises, it hits directly onto that spot where I was at today and I kept having to move my mat around, running away from the sun. (I build up a lot of internal heat already, no need to also feel my skin sizzling on top of that!) I hope they're planning on getting window blinds! (maybe the dark corners will become "my spot".) (Yes yes, I have to conquer non-attachment.)

What I like about it is there's no more separate room for the closing sequence, we just move to the back of the room after backbends. Which means that after practice, I now have the chance to look around the room and people-watch. Yes, totally illegal, but hey, I don't stay and gawk either... so it allows me to take a quick glance around the room without having to feel like I need to leave asap for the next person to take my spot.

There are a lot of "new" faces. "New" only because maybe I never noticed them before (since the shala got super packed and as explained before I had to leave immediately for the next person to take my spot)... so maybe they've always been there I just never noticed. But... I recognize a few faces from Sharath's workshop. Maybe they ARE new and came to our shala because of it.

It's kind of cool that our teacher is not charging for these first couple of weeks while they work out how the new space works. There are workmen still fixing up the showers and retail space downstairs (they start drilling whenever I get to Savasana. Ugh). There'll be an opening party next weekend which I've volunteered to help out at, so maybe I'll get a chance to show you pictures of the lovely new space!

At yesterday's practice, teacher's assistant (let's call her TA) wouldn't let me do handstands. "Not until you dropback on your own." (She's HARDCORE! Teacher had been helping me with handstands!) But yes, TA is also right. ...so today, when it came to dropbacks, TA said "OK, let's see how you're going today"... she didn't hold onto me at all while I dropped back, and at that last part as I dropped into the abyss, I felt her hands on the sides of my legs, a cue to bring more awareness to them.

And I didn't fall onto my head. Yay!

She said "You did it!" She was being kind. I know I didn't. If she hadn't been there, I would've dropped onto my head.

It's weird dropping back with less assistance - I think I'm locking my elbows coz my landing suddenly felt like rock solid concrete. Not at all soft & gentle (if I bend my elbows, I'll drop on my head!)

I dunno how many times we did this now - 3 times? 5 times? My head was spinning by the end of it. I needed her help to stand up from backbends coz she was making me turn my feet in and that's so much #%^$%!@ harder. (Dammit Feet! Stop splaying out!) So... less glutes, more quads & core! DAMMIT! ...yeah, my solo standing up from backbends have been a case of CHEATING since my feet splay out.

I will nail this. Today is just another day... by the way, this is also the 10th day in a row I've practised full Primary. While Sharath was here, we practised on the Saturdays so my last break was that last moon day. No rest for da wickid... looking forward to this Saturday!!
P.S. Check out the Kapotasana of the guy (?) in the electric-blue... um... hotpants. Yow-zer! (both the asana and the outfit)

(Photo credit here)

Sharath in Sydney: Week 2, Day 2

Holy Headstand, Batman! I had a mini-breakthrough today. Note the key word "MINI".

So, no, I didn't hold for all 15 counts, but I did hold till his EIGHTH count! If you recall, I've only ever managed to hold till SIX before (only once), and all other times I've averaged til FOUR or FIVE.

I came down for 2 counts, then went back up again from TEN till FIFTEEN.

WHOO HOO! ...it's all about the baby steps, innit? I'm just thinking that it's only another 2 counts I need to get over to hold the whole way. Of course by the time he came to FOURTEEN, the voices in my head started back up again. "HOLD... HOLD... HOOOOOOLD... Almost there just haul yourself up!"

Oh, and at 90 degrees, again I held for the last 5 of his 10 counts (it actually took me the first 5 of his counts to catch my breath after the first round of Sirsasanas!). By the 10th count, I've usually just come down straight away instead of bringing legs back up again on the inhale, before releasing on the exhale.

Today, after the 10th count, I gave it my best shot and hauled those HEAVY legs back up again on the inhale. I didn't make it all the way straight to the top though, and had to release about 3/4 of the way up.

What made it easier today to hold for longer in the regular Sirsasana is pulling my legs further back. It's complete fear that has held me back from bringing them too far back. Fear of what? Fear of falling over. (Sharath says "No chakrasana!" a lot when we come to Sirsasana!)

...and all this on only 4 hours of sleep. If Sharath hadn't been in town, I would've probably had a lie-in, telling myself I'd be no good at practice with not enough sleep (as you can tell, this has happened before). So I'm pretty chuffed that even though I was exhausted and crabby and didn't want to be there today, mini-breakthroughs are still possible.

So... how long more until I get to this variation? Look Ma, NO HANDS! HAHA.

Photo Credit here

I realize too, that after almost one and a half weeks of Led, what I'm really missing from a Mysore practice, is as follows:

1. Adjustment in Supta K. I need help in catching my hands behind and getting my legs bound behind my head. Once I'm wrapped, I'm in the pose... I miss the tightly, snug bound feeling in this pose, and on my own I just can't seem to grab my hands behind my back, let alone wrap the legs behind my head fully. It's starting to piss me off too (why can't I find my hands behind my back? Is my belly roll getting in the way THAT much?)

My hands feel kinda close-ish behind me but they can't seem to find each other. Anybody has any tips or recommendations on what the heck I'm not doing enough of? (I'm trying to scoop as much of my shoulders under my legs to get more of my arms through. Now what?)

Oh, I'm also missing doing that lift up into Dwi pada from Supta K... I've recently been able to actually lift off my bum in this more regularly (even though I can't hold past 2 breaths!) Hello Mulabandha!

2. Dropbacks. I miss doing these. I've started to stand up on my own from backbends (right now, it looks more like I'm hauling myself up and hurtling at the wall in front me, or stumbling around at the top once I'm up. No grace yet)... though I'm still working up the nerve to drop into the abyss from standing, on my own. So, I miss getting the dropback assists.

3. Handstands. I've recently been given these, and still working on bunny-hopping into it. Just before the workshop started, I was just kinda getting the hang of hopping up (CORE CORE BABY!) *sung to the tune of "Ice ice baby"* and wondering if I'll still be able to find that point after this week? (shoulders over wrists!) Staying up is a whole other story... kinda like my Sirsasana issues... what's supposed to be "straight" doesn't feel straight to me. Yet.

4. Paschimottanasa Squash. Need I say more? ...oh, that glorious squash after backbends.

I wonder if I'll "lose" any of these poses after not doing them during this 2-week workshop? (not #4 of course, teacher always gives that squash). :)