Sanskrit & Frustration

We had lunch with Swamiji today! It was a HOOT! BUT... It's 7.40pm and I'm flat-out knackered. Time to hit the sack in a bit. So... pictures and a Swamiji lunch update to come later (it's Moon Day break on Wednesday, after all... I'll have time to deconstruct it and write a proper post!)

Super short post today, and I'll leave you with a Sanskrit homework update. I've been chugging along nicely as a B+ or A- student (this is totally my own made-up grade. Lakshmish would be flabbergasted at my arrogance. HAHA!)

Last week's homework on putting together words and double consonants checked out OK.


BUT... today, things are heating up quite a bit and he's giving us much trickier words to figure out, along with giving us some irregular consonant combinations to practice. This is the state of my Sanskrit from practicing in today's class. I had to go back a number of times before I finally got them all right. I felt like kicking something (or someone) in frustration.


I was as frustrated by Sanskrit today as I've been with my backbends. For the life of me, I can't seem to stand up from the 3rd backbend from the floor anymore. After backbends and moving onto dropbacks, I'm able to dropback and stand up again (only coz I warm up the spine a bit more with half-hangbacks before dropbacks)... So... I CAN DO IT! I CAN stand up from a backbend, why can't I just do it with a backbend FROM THE FLOOR?! This was the first thing I learned to do before I could even dropback and now I have no idea how to do it anymore. URGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Y'know what this means right... I can't get Pasasana if I can't stand up from a backbend from the floor. I know I'm not supposed to be thinking this, but... I can't help it).

My housemate got Pasasana today. I have pose-envy. Bad Lady!

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Reeeaaaaally?!

I can kinda sorta see the "logic" behind it.

But... Eww! A yoga class ain't no pick-up bar! Is this just in Harrrrrrllywood (aka La-La Land), or in America in general? (Where I've been to it's been majority females in class only, and it didn't seem like there was any pick-up action going on. Or maybe I'm just clueless?)



PS. Sorry for the silence. Work is heating up again with late nights and early starts - resulting in some insomniac bouts from work stress in the past week too. Which means: Nonexistent MWF Shala practice after last Monday. (There's a post in this somewhere... Juggling an almost-daily 2-hour practice in the midst of an intense job with crazy hours. At this point, my body says: NO!)

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Moon Day What Day?

According to the ashtanga.com moon day page, Saturday was the moon day.

According to some people's moon phases apps, Friday was the moon day.

So there was a bit of confusion in the twittershala whether to follow Friday or Saturday as the Moon day. This was a twitter-conversation that took place on Friday.


My moon phases app said Saturday was the moon day, and since the ashtanga.com site said so too, that was good enough for me that Saturday should be observed as the moon day. I follow rules, remember?

BUT... Even with the double-confirmation, I STILL PRACTICED ON SATURDAY!

Haha. I think a bunch of us #rogueashtangis did.

I remember in Sydney, if the moon day fell on a Saturday, my teacher would still take either the day before or after as the moon day. She called it a "teacher's holiday". HAHAHA.

Everyone needs a break every other week, right?

So, interestingly... According to the ashtanga.com moon day dates (and my moon phases app) - the next few moon days will be on Saturday again.

I'm curious to see - How are you or your shala observing the Saturday moon days?

RAIN-SUIT UPDATE: I went to another cheap-charlie joint to look for one, and again they only had "L/XL" sizes available. I think the Universe is really telling me an ugly poncho is NOT the way forward. I might just *have* to buy that Nike rain-jacket I just spotted. (No, this does not de-rail my plan to finally visit the Mon-Wed-Fri shala tomorrow morning. I hope.)

MYSORE UPDATE: KPJAYI just emailed me again saying they've just put up an online registration form and may I please re-submit my application AGAIN for 2011. So I just did. FINALLY! They've hit the 21st century! ...and between the number of applications I've had to deal with between them and the Embassy, I'm really learning a lesson in patience here. :p

Oh and - have you seen KPJAYI's pretty new website? :) (They've added a moon app on their site, and on their shala schedule, it looks like they're also observing the Fridays as their moon days.) Hmm...

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It's ALL Practice!

I have been told by my Yoga-Practice-Angel, aka Fran, to stop obsessing about all the other million and one things in my life and get back to obsessing about Ashtanga (see her comment from previous post.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks, Fran! Sometimes we all just need a good kick up the butts. Right? Consider this butt kicked. :)

It's been said many times before that any kind of injury teaches us humility on our mats. It's so true in this case. My busted foot is by no means a yoga injury, but trying to keep up some kind of asana practice has been INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT.

Even getting through any of the seated poses has been awkward. Any time my left foot is moved beyond a certain angle, the muscle where my arch is hurts to high heaven. Easy poses like Janu Sirsasana A become incredibly painful on the foot. Like... SERIOUSLY?! So I end up doing more poses on the right side than on the left... And then end up feeling lopsided and thinking "This can't be good for me." Right?

I feel like a fish out of water without being able to do my regular practice. It's a good reminder to just BLOODY JOYFULLY SURRENDER to where my body is at right now. I feel like such a cop-out, especially after recently getting back into the swing of practice again in London and thinking "I'm NEVER gonna stop practicing again!"

Moral of the story: NEVER say NEVER.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I can still hear my Physio tut-tutting me about not resting my foot enough. I thought finally getting a bike and being mobile again would take some pressure off this foot. As it turns out, I realize now I stop and push off on the bike with my left foot. So any time I come to a stop, the foot goes BAM! on the road and I feel a shock up my arch. Oh shit. (I tried doing it in reverse, pushing off and stopping with the right foot. BUT. My body just doesn't get it. Have you ever tried putting on a shirt the other way around - putting in the arm you DON'T usually put in first? It's a total mindfuck and even after the shirt is on, something feels off-kilter.)

The Universe is obviously making me rethink my situation and circumstances... And the more I think about it, the more it feels like maybe it's making me think about the attachment to practice. I fully believe attachment to practice is GOOD. Sharath said so too during his conference in Sydney. (Sorry, I hate to use the "Sharath said so" phrase too, but look at me using it!!)

A few times in the past week, when the asana practice has become either too physically laboured on the foot or just too much of a mental distraction (I find myself thinking "when will this bloody foot get better?!" then lose focus on breath/ bandhas/ drishti)... I've just stopped completely and moved into a Pranayama practice. Just a simple 10 minute exercise of sitting with only the Ujjayi breath for 10 counts on the inhale and exhale, then moving into Kumbhakas (breath retention) after the inhales/exhales... has made such a BIG difference to my frame of mind.

Maybe it's the Ujjayi breath, but it seems to be able to recharge me much more than my asana practice has in the past couple of weeks. So... it's not quite Pattabhi Jois' Ashtanga Yoga, but I'm practicing a different limb of ashtanga yoga - not the asanas, but the pranayamas. Who cares?! It makes a difference to how I feel, so I'll take what I can get.

I still can't stop that niggling sobbing (no, WAILING) in the back of my mind... MY DROPBACKS!! MY STANDING UP FROM DROPBACKS!!! I just got those back and I'm back to "square one" AGAIN?!? Holyfuckingshitthissucks.

Sorry, bad lady. I'm only human.

The GOOD NEWS is... Today, I emailed KPJAYI coz I still hadn't heard back from them about my application. I sent them a scan of my application form and they replied the same day and said OK, I'm in. (Er... why do they make you snail-mail the application then?!)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

I've booked my flight already. ON IT!

Now sorting out this vedic studies visa thingamajig. I'm still in the midst of figuring it out, since I'm not a Dutch local here and things get a little more complicated. I actually have to make a train ride out to The Hague where the Embassy is to personally make the application. Another adventure.

Once I've figured it out, I will definitely post step-by-step info on what YOU need to do to get your ass to Mysore. Everyone seems to be a bit confused by this new yoga student/ vedic studies visa regulation now. So when I know what to do, SO WILL YOU! :)

OK... So now starts the next mild panic of "getting my practice back to where it was" before I get to Mysore. It's been 8 months and I'm still stuck at Laghuvajrasana (moving countries and turning my life upside down might figure into that but I can't see past that now.) Holyfuckingshitthissucks. I am convinced I will be stopped at Supta Kurmasana coz I've completely lost that bind. Then the other voice in my head keeps saying "SO WHAT EVEN IF YOU GET STOPPED AT... AT... NAVASANA?!? SO WHAT?!?!??????"

Trying to joyfully surrender to this process and stop playing mind games with myself. Holyfuckingshitthissucks.

I apologize for all the swearing today.

*End of today's yoga obsession*

On to my next obsession: Finding the perfect wicker basket for the bicycle.
Here's your reminder of what it looks like:


This?

(I'm leaning towards this. But maintaining the all-white look will be a bee-atch!)

Or this?

Born-Again Ashtangi

Greetings from London!

I've been here... almost 3 weeks now. And it's been pretty quiet on this blog. I've been thinking about this... and it's interesting I've had the same attitude towards blogging as I've had towards my Ashtanga practice recently.

"I should practice today. But I haven't in a while. It's gonna be too hard"

*GIVE UP*

"I should blog today. But I haven't in a while. It's gonna be too hard."

*GIVE UP*

To be fair, I did start out writing a post, but I had dodgy internet connection and Blogger didn't save everything I'd written... and since I'd lost all the precious thoughts I'd penned, it was just too hard to start all over again.

And so I didn't. And 1 day of not blogging became 3 weeks of not blogging. Eish. Like my lack of Ashtanga practice - 1 day of no practice became 1 month of no practice. Double Eish.

With the yoga, of course I'd done the occassional Vinyasa-Flow class along the way and thought "Hey, I can do these funky arm balances, I'm still strong!" ...Now of course it's not just about the physicality of the poses - I did derive loads of peace and calm from the Vinyasa classes; got in tune with my body; centred my Self.

HOWEVER... what I have discovered, now that I've been back into an almost-daily Ashtanga practice while in London - this practice is really an AMAZING yardstick for you to check in with yourself on so many levels.

1. From a purely physical level - yes, I can tell how much strength I've lost in 1 month. Even though I've been maintaining some kind of "physical exercise" with Vinyasa classes, I thought I was keeping up my strength and stamina... And boy was I wrong. This time around in London, I thought I'd check out the other highly recommended teacher, Phillipa, from TY. Within the first Ashtanga Mysore self-practice class (the first in 1 month)... I was floored. The second class barely 2 days later, was even worse. Stiff and creaky, nothing moving, lost touch with the bandhas... I was gobsmacked HORRIFIED.

2. From an Ego point-of-view - it's made me eat humble pie.
For the first week, I could only manage 4 days' practice, and only Full Primary. I've lost my bind in Supta Kurmasana COMPLETELY (still can't find it back), and also my standing up from dropbacks. When I asked Teacher P "When should I start putting my Intermediate series poses back into my practice again?" She replied "When you can stand up again from backbends."

Needless to say - that first week back on the mat was huff-and-puff week, and my body had NO CLUE what the heck what I was trying to make it do when attempting to stand up again from backbends. There was A LOT of mental chatter...

"I CAN DO THIS! I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! I've done it before, I can do it again. And soon!"

"Well, come along then... DO IT."

*Huff* *Puff *Huff *Puff*

Body to Brain still went... "What the Eff?!"



3. Non-attachment and learning to surrender to the process.
I figured I might as well put my 2010 reminder of "Joyful Surrender" into practice, even on the mat. Sure - I could do all these poses before. Now, I can't do some of them.

So...?

Does that make me a better or worse person?

Neither.

It just is.

It's been said so many times that it's now a cliche, but it's true - it's not about the physical asana pose and whether you can do it, but it's about the process you go through internally to get to it.

In my case - I felt such a mash-up of feelings... going through the whole process of tuning into the body to the point where it "clicks" in a pose, and then losing that connection to the pose completely, and then having to go through the same process all over again of trying to find that connection once more - it was familiar and frustrating. Most of all, it brought up feelings of regret.

"Why did I ever think stopping my self-practice was a good idea?!"
(Er... because work got busy, social life got busy... and general other bits of living life are actually important too? Hello?)

It just is.

So it feels like I had to start from scratch again and just give up all my expectations of what my practice "should be" like at this point and just see that IT JUST IS.

4. Your practice comes back (aka "Practice and all is coming")
The second week back on the mat went much better than the first. I got back into a full 6-day practice and it wasn't as much of a struggle to get on the mat as it was in the first week. (Plus, it helps when you have a teacher you click with. Joey was filling in this week for P, and he gave awesome adjustments so I was looking forward to get to class).

I was a bit of a rogue yogi since P was away and J has never seen my practice if I could stand up yet from backbends... So I decided to just carry onto my Intermediate series poses. Lo and behold, what do you know... that very same practice after carrying out my "illegal" Intermediate practice, I stood up from all 3 dropbacks. Something just clicked and my body remembered.

Thank Holy Hell.

Over the next few days they were intermittent - some days I'd nail them all and other days I'd land on my knees, but I'm making steady progress.

To digress, the other thing that's still NOT coming is Laghuvajrasana. The International Conspiracy continues. J spent about 5 minutes with me breaking that down (another post for another time. But when he came over to help, he said "Let me guess - this is your favourite pose?" Seriously?! Is it THAT obvious to everyone?)

5. Proof that it's possible to work crazy hours and still keep a regular morning Mysore practice.
Yes, it's FUCKING DIFFICULT, but it's possible. I did it this trip. (OK maybe not the night when we were working till midnight, but other nights that ended at 10pm, I've still got on the mat at 7am the next day.) It's probably not sustainable over the long term, but it makes me wonder when "I'm just too busy" can be used as an excuse not to get on the mat.

Part of me is wondering if having a good teacher, or rather, having a teacher you click with makes all the difference in motivating you to get on the mat. Yes, I know it shouldn't JUST be about the teacher, but I have to admit... it does make a difference. I am afraid if this is the case for me, coz... What happens when I get back to Amsterdam? I still haven't found "MY" teacher there yet!!

6. Yoking the Mind-Body-Spirit connection. Jeez. That sentence sounds so airy-fairy, but I dunno how else to put it. Since starting this Amsterdam job, the stress levels have got the better of me and my dirty old habit of smoking (yes, CIGARETTES) has made an appearance. I've mentioned this on and off - as I'd picked it up only on and off in the past few months.

BUT.

It started to become a problem. Like... I was officially a smoker again. After 5 years of quitting, might I add... Spare the tut-tutting and passing judgment, please. Go tut-tut somewhere else.

I think this might explain some of the reason why I'd fallen off the Ashtanga practice-bandwagon. I felt like a fraud. (How can I smoke and practice yoga at the same time? Umm... Hello? How can I deny I'm only human?)

At the point when I decided "Enough is enough", I had to clean up the temple that is my body - I decided to go on a caffeine AND nicotine detox 2 weeks ago. It has been easier than I thought initially (except for TERRIBLE headaches I got in the first couple days). In the first week I was probably substituting SUGAR for the caffeine and nicotine, but this week I think I've been getting a grip on the sugar intake.

Getting back on my yoga mat has been part of this detox/ getting-in-tune-with-my-body process as well (Plus, the deep Ujjayis probably kill any kind of fag-craving.) ("fags" are Brit for "cigs")

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That's my observation on life in the past 3 weeks so far. I haven't taken a single photo either while in London (GASP!) coz I haven't charged my camera (just like my Ashtanga and blogging, I was probably thinking "It's just too hard!") HA.

But... I'm back!

PS. I'm here in London till mid-September. I left my Amsterdam apartment, y'know, the one I'd only moved into for 3 days before I had to leave for London, thinking I'd be back home again in 1 week. Well... I haven't been back yet. By the time I finally leave, I'd have been in London a whole month.

Excuses, Excuses... Including the Weather!

I've got a problem. I can't seem to find the motivation to get back into a regular Ashtanga practice.

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

I have no excuse. The new shala has now got morning Mysore classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Sunday mornings are self-practice with no teacher around. At least there's a space now for group practice, right? Haven't I been moaning about the difficulty of self-practice alone at home?!

But I just seem to find excuses NOT to wake up early... The World Cup provided a great excuse not to wake up early. But Kevin still found the time to do it. And he's a hardcore football fan. I'm not. (And it's not like I was watching THAT many matches either! Haha!)

The other reason has been my frequent bouts of insomnia - after only getting about 2 - 3 hours sleep a night, the last thing I want to do is roll out of bed at 6am and then roll out my mat. Now, in the past week and a half, I've realized that I've been stressing myself out at night with thoughts of "Got to get to bed early. Need to wake up early to practice tomorrow!"

...This consequently leads to me worrying about being able to fall asleep so that I'll get enough rest in order to make it to the mat the next day. So what happens? I end up NOT BEING ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP! I found that I'd keep looking at the time to ensure I'd still get at least 6 - 7hrs sleep at the minimum.

What an idiot.

I can't function with any less than 6 hours' sleep. The moment it starts looking like I'd only get about 5 hours sleep "if I fall asleep NOW", I'd give up, set the alarm for 2.5 hours later - thinking that I'd just skip practice and go straight to work. For some reason, once this happens, I manage to fall asleep just fine.

I AM CHRONIC.

It's like I'm subconsciously sabotaging my plans to get back on the mat. I wonder if it's coz I'm just dreading working my way through the Intermediate series?

I had grand plans to make it to the shala this morning. But the above scenario was exactly what happened. Then I thought "OK, I'll just go for the evening Mysore class. At least it's SOME practice." ...and then what happens?

A HUGE TORRENTIAL COLD-FRONT DOWNPOUR UNLEASHES ON AMSTERDAM.

I live in Amsterdam and I don't own an umbrella. Nor a raincoat. (yes, yes. It's high time I get one. It probably rains more often here than in London).

*SIGH*

Another planned practice thwarted.

As there is no shala practice tomorrow morning, I am going to *attempt* a home practice. I'm telling myself it's not a big deal (otherwise I'm gonna start clock-watching again). How frustrating. What the heck is my problem?!?

On a lighter note... A bunch of us were stuck at the office in the middle of the storm today. As it was letting up a little, we decided to just leg it home with rain-protection fashioned together from garbage bags (we cut holes where the head and arms go through an overturned bag). This is Amsterdam. Nobody gives a toss what they look like. HAHAHA!

At least she tried to look a little more fashionable, with a belt made of duct tape.



I ended up looking like I was ready to scrub up to enter the operating theatre. Yes, that's a scarf-slash-hoodie. I'm saving this "outfit" for another rainy day!

And On the Second Day, She Had a Name...

I slept on it, stepped out the front door, looked at the bike this morning and thought: STILL TOO PINK.

On top of this, when I cycled to the Physio early this morning and dumped my stuff in the basket, I ended up with pink smears all over my favourite bag.

NO! NO! NO!

So I told my dude what happened and requested to please change the pink basket back to a regular black one. He was really sweet and apologetic about it and told me changing it to a black basket would be free of charge. That's what I call service! Seriously - if you're in the market for a bike in Amsterdam, check him out!

And I'm glad to report that having a black basket sure as hell tones down the Barbie-bike factor. Now... I can happily bedazzle the handlebars with rhinestones with no fear of being OTT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Yes, I do realize the irony in my actions. I like to take the piss, even out of myself and the bike I ride... but within "reason". Heh.)

Here's what she looks like with a black basket. (Sorry, it's a bit of a crap picture coz I only remembered to snap the photo AFTER locking it. And it's a mission to unlock TWO locks. I have more stories on stuff I'm learning on bicycle-locks, but that's for another post).


So yesterday, EcoYogini suggested I give my bike a name to match her punk-rockness (EcoYogini's bike is named Veronica. Love it!)

I've been thinking about it, and I've decided to christen her Roxanne. HAHAHAHAHA! She's got a rocker-chick vibe... And after all, this bike is about 30 years old (does that make it vintage?), has probably gone through some hard knocks in life, and now that I've taken the bright pink basket off, she no longer has to "put on the red light". HAHA. That's a really bad joke. It's not even funny.

On top of that, Roxanne's a song by Sting... a fellow yogi. Right? ...See how all roads lead back to yoga? Eh? Eh? Eh? *On a bad joke roll*

Speaking of yoga... I've been a REALLY BAD YOGI - no real ashtanga practice in like... 2 weeks! Only did the 108 sun salutes last weekend. And er... I've been procrastinating and making excuses (and had legit excuses like Mother Nature's yoga-break aka ladies' hols)... So today since I have a bike already, I have no excuse that getting around town is a mission.

The new shala here is still in the intro phase with only evening classes (More excuses not to make class in time after work!)... But I decided to bring my gear to work so I could bike there right after. As it turns out, another one of my yoga-mad workmates invited me to a Vinyasa-Flow class he usually attends.

To be honest... the thought of jumping straight back into the Primary series after 2 weeks break was making me REALLY NERVOUS. Because... it's really obvious how much you've "back-slid" in your practice and I can't help feeling crap about myself because I can't help it, but yes, I compare what my practices feel like on a day-to-day basis. It's something I have to get over of course. But anyways... So when I had the chance to "jump ship" and attend a fun vinyasa class instead (and YAY! A yoga friend!), I went for it.

I'm glad I did. It's so superficial and not the point but seriously... I'm convinced the Ashtanga Primary series builds up so much strength and stamina. I promise you I would've been huffing and puffing through Primary today, but at a "Level 3" vinyasa-flow class, it was actually pretty manageable. And that made me feel good about myself. HAHAHA. Talk about SUPER EGO!

I'd forgotten how fun a vinyasa class is - all those mad twists and arm balances. This one started off with a headstand as the first asana. Like... HUH?!? It went backwards! We also had a flaming queen teacher who was barrels of laughs - I've never heard the F word so many times in a yoga class... Maybe from out of my mouth, yes - remember Laghuvajrasana? But not the F word from out of THE TEACHER'S MOUTH!! It was really fun and lighthearted though. Even through all his swearing, he was very enlightened. "Stop thinking about the pose! Stop thinking Ooh, I like this pose. Ooh, I hate this pose. Just shut the fuck up and DO IT!"

...I guess that's an extension of Guruji's "do your practice and all is coming." HAHAHAHAHA.

Another gem he had was "You think it hurts now? Wait till tomorrow... THAT's gonna fucking hurt!" I like a teacher who doesn't himself/ herself and the yoga too seriously. His bio page actually says he's writing a book titled "How yoga ruined my life?!" (HAHAHA. LOVE IT!)

So... I guess I'm easing back into some kind of practice. Hope it helps ease me back to Ashtanga! (The new shala's morning classes start next week). Whoop!

Bad Yogi

I've been a bad yogi.

Saraswati was giving 2 led classes, one on Saturday and the other today. And er... gulp, I didn't go for either!

In my defense, I was "listening to my body" and needed to take my rest day on Saturday. Then one of my friends from Singapore arrived this morning to stay a week with us, and I had to wait till she turned up to the apartment.

OK OK, by the time she arrived, I still had an hour till Saraswati's class and could've made it. But she wanted to go for yum cha, and how could I refuse. (Kelly hates yum cha so I hardly ever get to indulge!) So umm... I skipped Saraswati's class to go for yum cha. Eek.

And I had TWO lotus-paste with sesame dough balls in all their DEEP-FRIED glory (amongst a bunch of other bad things, but that really took the cake). Mmmmmmmm. There is A LOT of starch and gloopy, gelatinous goop in yum cha. I think this was officially my LAST MEAL with refined carbs until I start Wednesday's detox. (I'm trying to remain guilt-free, as you can tell).

So after rolling ourselves out the restaurant (Regal Restaurant on Sussex St, in case you were wondering. Lots of good vegetarian options, surprisingly!), we decided we HAD to go to this afternoon's Mysore class to redeem ourselves of all that badness. Thank goodness KPJ Yoga's got a packed schedule of classes now! ;p

Then I found out that TODAY WAS SARASWATI'S LAST CLASS!! I thought she'd be teaching up until Tuesday, but turns out she's still in the country but will be playing tourist rather than teacher. ARGHHHHH!! I missed her last class for yum cha. Jeepers! Bad yogi. So that pretty much wraps up my Saraswati series I suppose... Hrmph.

On another note, I can't remember when the last time was that I'd practiced in the afternoon/ evening. It was quite a refreshing change! Suddenly, the poses all seemed easier coz I felt so much more limber. I still had to be bound into Supta Kurmasana but MAN OH MAN, it felt so much easier with less resistance! The only distracting thing was the kids having a piss-up on the opposite balcony. I used them as my drishti point, and somehow Ujjayi breathing while watching someone smoking has a very strange effect on your psyche (I am also an ex-smoker. It confused me.)

I did 5 unassisted dropbacks today. Only coz the first 3 were so-so. Actually, they were crap. The first one, my hands landed REALLY FAR AWAY. And on the next 2, my head grazed the floor on the way down. No, it wasn't a full-on headbutt, I just hadn't straightened my arms enough. Since I wasn't pleased with the outcome, I went for another 2 and they were much better - felt a lot deeper, making the standing up a lot easier too! (Yes! No teacher to help with the standing up today!)

I still feel like a newly-born elephant trying to walk when it comes to dropbacks/ standing up. It's the most ungainly, inelegant struggle. Very unpolished. Slowly, by slowly...

Today, my friend sent me this picture. You might know him too. (not the... er... model? in the picture, but my friend). [EDIT: This friend would like to remain anonymous!] ...I suspect it might be a picture too brazen to post for the average yogi. Here's where having a friend like me comes in handy. HAHAHA.

I thought it was an excellent reminder that even bodies who've been kissed by God still struggle with the perfect backbend. He has Imaginary Stilleto Syndrome (ISS) and the calves that go along with it. Oh, and did I mention... he's got skimpy yoga shorts, too? (Hehe, I'm on a "bad yogi" roll)