Of Moving House and Visiting Teachers

Between work and dealing with the builder and figuring out what to get and what goes where in the new house and oh yeah, I moved in this weekend finally... I haven't actually had time to post updates! I don't think I've even shared a single photo of the new place here yet. I might just start posting random photo updates just coz that's faster and time isn't what I've got much of these days... (I actually started writing this post a week ago and haven't been able to finish it!!)

Oh yeah, and did I tell you Clayton Horton was also in town? He was here the last 2 weeks actually, and it's been great FINALLY having daily Mysore sessions at the shala. I'm totally lapping this up.

An observation I've made: I cannot function on 6 hours sleep, followed by a 2-hour practice, followed by a full-on 8 to 10-hour day at work. I used to make the joke that my yoga practice was the hardest thing I had to do of the day and since I'd be done with it by 8am, the world would seem all good after that. Unfortunately, I've realized that with what my job entails, I'm no longer sure if my practice is the hardest thing I do of the day. So you can imagine after Week #2 of Clayton in town, it's starting to kick my ass. I'm exhausted and miss the little afternoon naps I could take in Mysore to recover!

The first week Clayton was here, he also did a 3-day teachers' intensive. It counts for Yoga Alliance's 30hr continuing education credit. So glad I took some time off my day job just to reconnect with yoga and other yogis too! The first half of each day was spent discussing philosophy, and the second half of the day was spent on breaking down the Primary series and going through the various adjustments for it. It's been AGES since I've taught, and my adjustments are completely rusty now, I might need to start a little yoga-playgroup going to refresh my adjustments! Or maybe ask to assist my teacher at the shala... Too many things I want to do, so little time! Guess it'll have to happen AFTER the move and doing up the house. ;)

In the first couple days of Mysore classes, I was still getting back into my body and only doing Primary series. Like all teachers trained in the traditional Pattabhi Jois way, Clayton wanted to see me stand up from backbends, then dropback and stand up again 3 times before moving me onto Intermediate. I was totally crap the first few days - wobbly and crashing and hurling onto my knees... And then after a couple days, suddenly my body remembered what it had to do and everything clicked into place and it happened. WEIRD. I can't explain it except... er, muscle memory?

And since then he's been watching me do each pose at a time in Intermediate. He asked where I was up to, then said "Let's start with Pasasana". The next day after Pasasana, I lay down to do backbends then he told me to continue through to Bhekasana. And the day after that to go to Parsva Dhanurasana. And we're now up to Laghuvajrasana. I'm pretty happy hanging out here at this pose and working my way through it (my regular teacher M gave me Kapotasana about a week before Clayton arrived, but I am so totally not ready for it at all!) I've been so completely exhausted the past couple days of practice, I've been coasting my way through it, ie., not really putting in 100% effort. Conserving energy! I have my whole life to figure this out, I'm not gonna kill myself to try and impress a visiting teacher... ;)

There's something about this teacher-student relationship in Ashtanga that I find compelling. The student learning to submit to teacher - I totally get the humility and respect it takes to do this. Interestingly, I used to be of the theory that "you are your best teacher"... But I'm now going through the phase where I feel you can't really say you're your best teacher until you've had enough time and training with a GOOD teacher, who can spot your weaknesses and imbalances and guide you to where you need to be/ what you need to work on. Only when you've been shown the way and can feel it from within can you tap into that again when you're on your own.

A good teacher doesn't just help you physically on an asana level either...a good teacher can tell from the way you breathe how this can affect you energetically, or how it can affect your Vata/ Pitta/ Kapha doshas... (just from the quality of the breath, length of the breath, inhales versus exhales, at what point in the vinyasa you breathe and how this affects you, etc.) I realized this just from being in the same room as Clayton, seeing what he picks up on in different people's practices, including mine. Such wisdom comes from years of experience and a depth of study on various subjects.

While breaking down Laghuvajrasana with me one day, I had a moment of realization, that AHA! moment when I understood why some teachers put such a focus on learning to dropback and stand back up again before moving students onto the Intermediate series. It became totally apparent in Laghuvajrasana that day when Clayton was explaining how to use the inhale to come back up from the floor again (I still can't go all the way down to touch my head to the floor. If I do this, I get stuck and can't come back up). It's a totally similar movement/ action to standing up from a backbend!! It's using that inhale, pressing the hips up and forwards that's similar. Sounds easier than it is, of course.

A great thing that's spun off from his workshop series is there's a group of us who enjoy the regular morning practices so much to the point where we were bummed that the shala still only opens on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for morning Mysore classes. So we asked if the shala was STILL not gonna open on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, could we start a self-practice group on those mornings instead? And TA-DAH! We got a set of keys to share between us. :)

This morning, there were 5 of us in self-practice including Clayton (he flew off to Barcelona today and wasn't teaching; just practising). This little group feels really promising, hope we get to keep this up!

I have to say I've really enjoyed having a visiting teacher for a solid long stretch. 2 weeks is a luxury! Usually most workshops happen over a weekend or the teacher visits for a week... But having 2 solid weeks with the same teacher really helps expand one's practice just that little bit more. And the whole shala just feels a lot more inspired too.

So now maybe I need to start working on my next post - the before and after shots of the apartment!! Mind you, there's still sweet f**k all in the living room except for a TV. I'm thinking of having a ghetto-style housewarming party where everyone has a picnic on the floor (nope, the sofa hasn't arrived yet). And since the kitchen doesn't get installed until 2 weeks' time... People will just have to order takeaway pizzas or bring their own food. Hehe. Fun times!! :)


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What the Governator Taught Me About Laghuvajrasana

Yes, I'm referring to Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know, that BEEFCAAAAAAAAKE megalomaniac sex-fiend? Yessiree, he taught me something about yoga.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

A couple weeks ago, I went to a screening of "Pumping Iron". It's a cult-classic documentary from the late '70s about the world of bodybuilding. And of course, it stars good old Arnie, pre-Hollywood fame. He was already the 5-time Mr. Universe/ Olympia winner by this time and was defending his 1975 title for the last time before retiring from bodybuilding. A 24-year old Lou Ferrigno, aka The Incredible Hulk, also makes an appearance as the "pipsqueak" upstart who hopes to take the title from old-man-Arnie (or rather, Lou's dad seems more intent on this).


I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this. It is a HILARIOUS documentary that gives a good glimpse into the mindset of what it takes for world domination. At least in the bodybuilding world. And actually, maybe this same narcissistic god-complex is required to make it in Hollywood too. And maybe also in politics, if Arnie's behaviour and later accomplishments in life are anything to go by.

There are some priceless gems spouted out of Arnie that make you go "WTF?!? This guy ACTUALLY became the Governor of California and was seriously considering running for President?!" Case in point, my favourite WTF moment when he was talking about how bodybuilding made him feel:

‎

"It's as satisfying to me as, uh, coming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and coming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of coming in a gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it's terrific. Right? So you know, I am in heaven."
- Arnie

... ... ...

I mean, seriously right?!? I was in hysterics with a good LOL. (Especially considering the whole fiasco with his housemaid in the past month)

Anyway, while doubled over in laughter, Arnie also said something else that made me recall what my yoga teacher was telling me about building up my leg strength for Laghuvajrasana. She said that I should go down and come up a few times, going down lower each time, or at least training myself to keep dipping down lower each time before holding there for the final 5 counts. If I don't do this, my body will never get used to how it should be pushing itself lower to the ground.

Arnie basically said the same thing about doing reps in training. He said his competitor would do 10 reps of something, but he would go beyond this, doing an extra few more... coz "the last three or four reps is what makes the muscle grow. This area of pain divides the champion from someone else who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens."

OK, so maybe only the first sentence in that quote is applicable. The rest is completely egotistical, unyogic and totally not applying Ahimsa to one's self.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Well, at least I got something out of that, right? Basically - don't be a wuss. To get the hang of Laghu, I should just rinse-and-repeat like my teacher and Arnie say. From a physical point-of-view, at least I know what good I'm doing.

Yeah Arnie, I'm gonna be a champion, just like you! *cough*

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Coming To Terms With Laghuvajrasana

Sorry, another post on my "favourite" pose. Bear with me, I'm trying to work things out with her so I need to talk about it! (Yes, I have personified Laghu and made it a "Her" coz she's a BITCH.) HAHAHA!

OK, so here's something new from yesterday's practice: I wasn't angry with Laghuvajrasana.

*SHOCK* *HORROR* *GASP*

I'm also sure it's only for that ONE day, yesterday. HAHA.

I'd been reading Osho's book on "Courage" all morning and I guess I was living that day in my head, thinking about the things he wrote about. So I think that also helped to get my practice in the afternoon to an extremely quiet place.

Don't get me wrong. I was dead beat by the time I got to Ustrasana. And even more so by the time I got to Laghu... but I didn't have that mental tantrum playing up in my thoughts like I usually do. I just went about it methodically remembering what Teacher H had said... "Knees slightly closer together, feet slightly further apart. Hands grab ankles, bent elbows and firm arms. Push shins and tops of feet into the ground. It's OK if your knees lift off the ground."

That's what I distilled of everything he has said in the past week in London. Well, for where I'm at with the pose - it works for me now anyway. It may not be the right thing to do for anyone else coz... well, you know how I'm a baby with this pose, right?

So as I was going down and thinking "Legs! Legs! Legs!" (y'know, just to remind myself NOT to backbend into it)... it felt like the pose made a little bit more sense to my body. For once, I wasn't thinking "What the fuck am I supposed to be doing with what now?!"

I just got on with it. (Who knows if it was "right" or not? HAHAHA!)

At one point, it felt like my knees were starting to lift off the ground and I started panicking, but then remembered H said that for now, it's OK if they lift off. So I let that fear go and got on with it. My head's still nowhere near the floor, but that's OK.

AND THEN!!! ...Massive, sharp cramps in my calves! Both sides! This always seems to happen at some point in Laghuvajrasana.

So I stopped, pressed an acupressure point beneath both second toes (another trick I picked up from Teacher H), and did Laghu again another 2 times. I suppose a good indication of physical progress with the pose will be the day that comes when I don't get cramps in my calves. Hehe.

Laghuvajrasana and I are not friends yet. No, not yet. But I'm hoping I'm coming to understand her a little bit better.

After practice, I went for another floating session. Ahhhhhh... complete post-yoga bliss. I think I almost fell asleep coz I was both so tired and relaxed.

Ooh look! Iyengar-style Chair-Laghuvajrasana. (But dude, you're not using your legs enough this way).

*KWA KWA KWA*

Hello from London!

An interesting thing happened at practice this morning. I was back at AYL with teacher H. He seems to be "my" teacher in the past month or so... only coz I've been the most "consistently" practicing with him since uprooting my life from my last teacher in Sydney in February. I've gone to him now a few days out of every week in the past month, dependent on my work schedule while in London.

First, he corrects my Dhanurasana to Parsva Dhanurasanas. To be honest, I've always just gone direct from Dhanurasana after 5 breaths straight into Parsva Dhanurasana. Apparently you're supposed to vinyasa in between. OOPS. Guess I've gotten sloppy, or just forgotten, after having a very sporadic second series practice.

And then... Guess What? The International Laghuvajrasana Conspiracy continues.

Yup, that's right folks. He made me do it again and again and again too. Just like my teacher in Sydney, and teacher James in Singapore did too. BUT! He was much kinder in "allowing" to stay down for one breath every time I got down.

Have I ever mentioned how OVER IT I am with Laghu? I must have.

*I will not curse and swear again at Laghuvajrasana*

Actually, today I wasn't angry with the pose. I was more defeated by the pose. If my practice had a gaming sound effect, it would be the GAME OVER *Kwa Kwa Kwa* sound effect.

H explained that while Ustrasana is the backbend that prepares you for Kapotasana, Laghuvajrasana is the leg-strengthener that prepares you for Kapotasana (in essence: STOP TRYING TO BACKBEND INTO IT!) He tried something a little different from the other teachers today. He told me to try it kneeling with my knees closer together, and feet slightly further apart. And he also said it's OK to have my elbows a little bit bent as I'm going down as long as both arms are completely firm and strong. Kinda like this I suppose?

(Photo credit here)

My brain to body is not quite connecting this information yet, I think. I think I'm still trying to get my head around THIS IS NOT A BACKBEND! Coz I tend to puff my chest out a bit as I'm going down. But look! Even the dude in the picture above kinda sorta has a backbend.

BLERGGHHHHHHHHHHH. I fucking hate this pose. It confuses the bejeezus out of me. Can you tell? You guys have given so many great comments too in the past. But now it feels like I'm having a "computer says No" moment.

Teacher H could tell. By the time he came over to help me with assisted dropbacks, he said "You're trying too hard in Laghuvajrasana". "Just grab the heels firmly and press feet into the floor."

Right.

I'm definitely hitting the brick wall now and ready to thrown in the towel. I've said it a million times over and I'll say it again: FUCK YOU, LAGHU!! I also know I just have to give in to this frustration and just practice, practice, practice and at some point I will stop caring. By this I mean that I will stop trying too hard. And ironically, it will be the day I stop caring, hence stop trying too hard, that I come to a breakthrough with this pose. I know it coz it has happened before in many other poses before this. But still... even though it's all still head knowledge I can't help feeling what I feel with this GODDAMNBLOODYFUCKINGANNOYING asana.

Sorry. *I will not curse and swear again at Laghuvajrasana*

At the end of class today, I thanked him for his feedback and also told him I haven't had a regular teacher I've been going to since I've been in Amsterdam. H said "Yes, I can tell." Wow. The force is with him. Also - it made me think... Has my practice become THAT sloppy since leaving Sydney?

Farkin ell.

*Kwa Kwa Kwa* Today's practice is a very defeated one indeed. But I just gotta keep reminding myself: it's just today. Tomorrow is another day and another practice.

Bookworm Weekend

This weekend was the first weekend since being here that I've actually had a chilled weekend. I was going to go on a day tour of the Dutch countryside, but then I figured "NO. I need to rest." (in today's horrible word-combo world, that would be "chillax")

So I went to the book store and picked up 3 books:
Michael Pollan's "In defense of food"
Jonah Lehrer's "How we decide"
Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed"



Michael Pollan is my hero. What can I say... his "The Omnivore's Dilemma", discovered through reading Sharon Gannon's Yoga & Vegetarianism made me re-think the way I eat. So of course I have to read his follow-up book.

Jonah Lehrer is someone I just discovered over the weekend - Karen had linked to an article he had written on insomnia, and during one of my insomniac bouts I dug around for more info on the dude and thought this looked like a good read. HA.

And yeah... well y'know, "Committed" is Gilbert's follow-up book to "Eat Pray Love". HAHAHA! I like my chick-lit. Shut up!

I finished "Committed" in a day. Er... I have to say I didn't enjoy it as much as the first book. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot and going "blahblahblah... it's getting a bit self-absorbed now". But well, that's what a memoir is, innit? What she did get me interested in though, is an author she referenced a lot - Stephanie Coontz. I'd like to check out her book "Marriage, a history". Yeah, a book on... er, the history of marriage.

Gilbert herself mentioned some historical bits that were pretty eye-opening... and the institution of marriage today really didn't start out the way it did (the Church initially opposed marriage?!)

I figured if this insomnia continues, at least I'll have some books to read in the middle of the night. See, I'm learning to "joyfully surrender" to insomnia. HAHAHA. :)

On Saturday, I decided I needed to practice some yoga. Sure it was a Saturday and an official "no practice" day, but I'd skipped a few days before that coz of long days at work. It was probably one of the hardest ever practice sessions I've had. I had every intention of finishing up to Laghuvajrasana, but I kept wanting to jump off the mat.

I didn't start the practice wanting to jump off, but the more I got into it, the heavier I felt, and the less connected to my physical body I felt. Because I had such a hard time gelling the practice, everything in my mind said "BLECHHHHHHHH! STOP! STOP! STOP!" ...but I soldiered on. At the end of Setu Bandhasana I thought "F&£^ this shit, I've had enough".

Well... Not a proud moment (swearing on the mat?!) But... at least I finished Primary, I suppose?

Yesterday, after a whole day of procrastinating, I decided to get back on the mat in the late afternoon. I think I was afraid of having the same hard time I'd had on the mat the day before, so was trying to make excuses not to do it. So much of this practice is a mindgame, innit? ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S SELF-PRACTICE!!!

I'm glad I did it. I kinda breezed through it and felt a lot lighter and stronger than the day before. And seriously, I think Laghuvajrasana is really starting to become mine. Well, at least the pose is starting to feel less like a mission, and more like a huge expansion. YAY! (I'm even squeezing those thighs together as I'm going down and sure, they're still burning, but it seems a lot more manageable now)

So... here's the next obvious question: if you're practising on your own, how do you know when you're ready to move onto the next pose? (I feel like I'm opening Pandora's Box here..) Heh.

Since I'm a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert, thought I'd leave off with the trailer of "Eat Pray Love", coming in August. (Julia Roberts plays her? ...and Javier Bardem plays Felipe?! WTF?!)

Intermediate Self-Practice vs. Me: Round 1

I did it! My first home self-practice of the Intermediate series. Up until the last pose my Sydney teacher gave me - that dreaded Laghuvajrasana. This was the first time I practiced Intermediate PROPERLY on my own. *Curtsy*

I dunno why it was such a big deal or why I had such a mental block with it. Today I decided: Enough is enough. No more excuses, just do it. No more just stopping after Primary, or even shortcutting Primary just to get to Salabhasana (skipping so many poses in between!)

And breaking it down the simplest, most fuss-free way to do it... I figured I might as well practice just as my teacher had told me to - with that weird split, cutting out UHP up till Dandasana. I figured for now at least, it might just make it less of a mental block for me, making it a little "easier" to handle. Heh.

It worked. I had a Pavlovian dog response. At this point, I'll try anything to try and get into a home-practice groove.

And even Laghuvajrasana today actually felt open. *GASP*

I still don't like the pose of course, and my head is still far away from the floor. But as I was hanging just at that point where I couldn't handle it anymore - any further and I would've crashed my head onto the floor... I actually felt like "Hey, everything in my body is exploding but I'm feeling a lovely chest expansion".

It was weird, but a nice feeling. :)

And by the fifth breath, as I was pressing my shins into the floor like there was no tomorrow, both calves suddenly cramped up. What the eff?! Is that supposed to happen?

So I stopped, did a vinyasa, and decided to do Laghuvajrasana again (Yes I did it again. Damn you Laghu, I'm gonna nail you.) And AGAIN, on the fifth breath, both calves cramped up. Maybe I'm just trying too hard or pushing the shins into the floor too hard.

It was a practice that was 12 hours late (7pm instead of 7am), but better late than never, right? I'll try and see if I can finally kick myself out of bed earlier to practice tomorrow morning.

Oh, the other thing is - this lopsided, slanting floor is starting to really annoy me. I already have a crooked pelvis I'm trying to straighten, so trying to determine if laying flat on the floor doesn't actually feel "flat" is coz of the pelvis or coz of the floor is starting to do my head in.

I might start laying my mat in different places to see if maybe practicing in the bedroom or the kitchen might be better. Bahaha! That would be a sight. Kitchen practice would probably be too distracting, with those stroopwafels within reach.

Sigh. This Beige Heaven apartment will be fine. We will get into some kind of self-practice groove. I'm just not sure if these will be better alternative practice spaces!

Hank Overload

Here's more pictures of Hank. He's turning out to be quite the smart rascal, terrorising the other 2 dogs in the house.

You might remember Abby & Jezebel, Kelly's dad's little fluffy white dogs.


While we're staying here with him, the 2 dogs of the house have had to endure Hank's puppy bravado. Remember what a squirmy little cute turd he looked like in the photos? He's only like that when he's tired or sleeping. Otherwise, he's a complete terror - the typical scrappy buster of a puppy... chewing shoes, chewing furniture... and the funniest one is of him stirring shit with Abby, the Alpha Female dog of the house.

He's about 1/3 the size of Abby, the Westie. But this week, he's been running up to her and squeaking (he can't quite bark yet), while prancing around her. He hops up and down like a rabbit. He's either trying to play with her, or just testing his boundaries with her. Abby, surprisingly, has been rather patient with Hank. If his squeak-barking becomes intolerable, she whips around and charges at him or nips him, and then he stops for 2 seconds. And then goes back to "attacking" her again. I get annoyed with Hank just watching him. He's such a brat!! Here he is launching into a regular afternoon Abby attack.



The 2 of them have been at each other the past few days. Abby has been stealing Hank's bone from out of his basket, and since Hank's too small to grab it back from her... he squeak-barks at her, prances around her, and when she lunges at him - Hank runs under Abby's favourite hiding place under an armchair. And that REALLY gets Abby PISSED OFF. It is the funniest thing to watch! This little doggy is turning out to be pretty smart.

He's pretty independent and is OK if left to his own devices - this is his favourite bone (he's got er... 3 bones of varying textures). He's pretty happy chewing on it and tossing it in the air and running after it... and that keeps him well entertained:










I think Hank secretly wants to be Abby when he grows up. He can't quite walk up and down stairs yet - or at least these open steps freak him out a bit. But when he saw Abby chilling out by the staircase, he was crying to get near her too. Check out how Abby's just nonchalent in her "nyah nyah!" way.



On the yoga front, I practiced for the first time this week today. EEEK! But glad to report that all went well. The new shala I was looking forward to going to isn't open yet, so I went back to the old ashtanga shala I used to practice at. Felt a bit creaky in parts, but I went all the way up to Laghuvajrasana and went down and up and down and up a couple times. I think I actually rolled my eyeballs before I started this asana. No, I haven't conquered it yet, mentally.

Now here's my drishti question - I was going down fine and with control, and when I was at the point where I felt I couldn't go back anymore coz my legs couldn't handle it anymore, I found myself thinking "Do I need to tilt my head further back?" (as in: tilt chin up to the sky)... and I think my drishti was more like towards my nose than a few inches in front of it as suggested by Patrick. Then... of course I thought "TOO MUCH MENTAL CHATTER!"

And that was it today.

The International Laghuvajrasana Conspiracy

I think I must have the words "I lurrrrrrve Laghuvajrasana. Won't you make me do it over and over and over again? Please?" tattoed on my forehead.

Either that, or my teachers in Sydney and Singapore read this blog and enjoy torturing me... or it must be plain obvious from the expression on my face that I actually have a problem with this asana (a problem of the "MASSIVE HATRED" kind)... Or maybe I just plain and simple suck at it.

Oh, hello from Singapore by the way.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of eating, drinking, catching up with family, running errands, running more errands... and I just haven't had the time to really get online and have a bit of a brain-fart here.

Just that I thought it was funny how my teacher here made me do THE SAME THING my teacher in Sydney made me do with Laghu. Go down, come up. Go down, come up. Go down, come up. Go down - find that edge before your legs give up - Come up. Do it again. Again. Again. Again. AGAIN. It's a conspiracy!!

FANG PI!!

I actually said out loud at one point "I fucking hate this pose" after coming up (call me the cussing yogi). Teacher James was right in front of me, assisting with pulling my hips forward. I said it into his face.

He replied "You and almost everyone else." (in essence: GET OVER YOURSELF)

I KNOW I just need to shaddup and DO it. Get over this mental resistance. But at this point, I can't. The moment I'm finishing Ustrasana, doom & gloom sets in and I feel like jumping straight to the closing sequence.

Or just laying down on my mat kicking and screaming and saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

But I still have some semblance of dignity. I'm just silently throwing a tantrum in my head. Blech.

Anyways, in today's Primary practice, James got a bee in his bonnet about my jump-throughs. He stuck his leg under me while I was in down-dog, about to jump through to the next seated pose.

Okaaaaaaay. He wants me to jump higher, over his leg.

So I kinda sorta did. Clumsily. (The guy's leg was THERE! How not to be clumsy?!)

But after a few tries I kinda got it. My down-dog's been too short... he made me take my feet further back, which then allows you to jump your hips higher up, which then makes your jump-throughs much more graceful and actually easier in a weird way. (...which will then eventually lead to straight-legs jumpthroughs.) NOW I see how straight-legs jump-throughs could be physically possible. Not that I'm anywhere close to doing it, but the mechanics of it kinda makes sense now. Had a bit of an AHA! moment.

I mean, I had a bit of a mini-pause in mid-air as my hips were at the highest point and I was pressing down through my palms like in a handstand and my bandhas were fully locked and everything felt aligned... and then I felt like a rockstar (OK, not rockstar. Maybe Swenson-esque. Even though it definitely didn't look anything like a Swenson-esque jump-through AT ALL. It just felt like it in my head!)

And then after that, Teacher got a bee in his bonnet about EVERYONE'S jump-thoughs, and stuck his leg under everybody as they were jumping through (there were only 6 of us this morning, so it was nice and intimate). I had a good laugh and almost fell out of headstand because of the distracting commotion of everyone getting Teacher's leg shoved under them.

It's after midnight and I'm falling asleep writing this, so this Cinderella's taking me back to my pumpkin dreams. Apologies if this has been a disjointed post. x

PS. I got Ustrasana & Laghuvajrasana Today

I think my Teacher's just cramming as many poses in as she can before I go.

HAHAHAHAHA.

Just when I was thinking today in that last Dhanurasana after the Parsva Dhanurasanas "OH! I have some strength to lift these legs higher!" and then gave it my all, she came round and said "Next pose".

Dammit. Should've saved some energy!

Ustrasana's OK. No problems here (er... I used to practice some Bikram, remember? You do it in every single class. Heh.)

Laghuvajrasana on the other hand... can go to hell. I have found my least favourite pose EVER. (I felt like screaming out today "LAGHU YOU PIECE OF SHIT ASANA! WHY WERE YOU EVER INVENTED?!??")

When I've practiced this pose before, you walked your hands to grab your knees (like how Swenson has it in his practice manual, if I can remember correctly.) (Sorry, all my yoga books are being shipped to Cape Town right now, I only have Maehle's on me).
Kinda like this:

(Picture credit here)

So you get more of a backbend.

But today, teacher insisted on having me keep my hands on calves and bring the head further back (kinda like where Arjuna's hands are in the pic above). So it's less of a backbend, more of a leg strengthener. HOLYMOTHEROF$#&(($%@#&(*%&. My legs were burning.

I was confused how/ where the hands should go and she got annoyed and kept saying "Keep your hands where they are!" I guess I kept fiddling with my hand position then she got even more fed up and also used Guruji's phrase "BAD LADY!" as a joke while she brought my hands back to where they should be again for the umpteenth time. It cracked me up WHILE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POSE and then of course everything went downhill.

I can go down but I can't come up. The amount of quad & core strength this takes blows my mind.

To top it off, she made me do it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN... I think I must've done it about 4 or 5 times. On top of this, she showed me some variations for how to practice on my own to build leg strength for the coming-up part. And then she said "Do it again".

Farkin ell.

One of her Assistants was practising next to me and she said "Giles, show her!" Poor Giles had to stop where he was to do me a private demo... Bloody hell, he made it look so easy! Grrr.

Then after class she asked when I was flying - I said tomorrow night. She said I should just practice Primary only tomorrow then. Only a "light practice" when you've got big travel ahead of you. HAHAHAHAHA. Only in the world of Ashtanga is full Primary considered a "light practice". But after today's ass-whipping, I'll be looking forward to it.

This will probably be my last post from Sydney. I've gotta be the chambermaid now and spruce up this apartment (so the landlord has no reason not to give us back our full deposit), and then I'll be tearing around town tomorrow before handing back the keys and heading off to the airport. Probably no time to write I think.

I'll be home in Singapore on Wednesday and spending a few days here before heading off to Cape Town. Will be practicing at The Yoga Shala, so more of an ass-whipping lies ahead with Teacher J!

B'bye Sydney... You've been good to me (and heckuva lot of good to my yoga practice).