Hello from London!
An interesting thing happened at practice this morning. I was back at AYL with teacher H. He seems to be "my" teacher in the past month or so... only coz I've been the most "consistently" practicing with him since uprooting my life from my last teacher in Sydney in February. I've gone to him now a few days out of every week in the past month, dependent on my work schedule while in London.
First, he corrects my Dhanurasana to Parsva Dhanurasanas. To be honest, I've always just gone direct from Dhanurasana after 5 breaths straight into Parsva Dhanurasana. Apparently you're supposed to vinyasa in between. OOPS. Guess I've gotten sloppy, or just forgotten, after having a very sporadic second series practice.
And then... Guess What? The International Laghuvajrasana Conspiracy continues.
Yup, that's right folks. He made me do it again and again and again too. Just like my teacher in Sydney, and teacher James in Singapore did too. BUT! He was much kinder in "allowing" to stay down for one breath every time I got down.
Have I ever mentioned how OVER IT I am with Laghu? I must have.
*I will not curse and swear again at Laghuvajrasana*
Actually, today I wasn't angry with the pose. I was more defeated by the pose. If my practice had a gaming sound effect, it would be the GAME OVER *Kwa Kwa Kwa* sound effect.
H explained that while Ustrasana is the backbend that prepares you for Kapotasana, Laghuvajrasana is the leg-strengthener that prepares you for Kapotasana (in essence: STOP TRYING TO BACKBEND INTO IT!) He tried something a little different from the other teachers today. He told me to try it kneeling with my knees closer together, and feet slightly further apart. And he also said it's OK to have my elbows a little bit bent as I'm going down as long as both arms are completely firm and strong. Kinda like this I suppose?
(Photo credit here)
My brain to body is not quite connecting this information yet, I think. I think I'm still trying to get my head around THIS IS NOT A BACKBEND! Coz I tend to puff my chest out a bit as I'm going down. But look! Even the dude in the picture above kinda sorta has a backbend.
BLERGGHHHHHHHHHHH. I fucking hate this pose. It confuses the bejeezus out of me. Can you tell? You guys have given so many great comments too in the past. But now it feels like I'm having a "computer says No" moment.
Teacher H could tell. By the time he came over to help me with assisted dropbacks, he said "You're trying too hard in Laghuvajrasana". "Just grab the heels firmly and press feet into the floor."
I'm definitely hitting the brick wall now and ready to thrown in the towel. I've said it a million times over and I'll say it again: FUCK YOU, LAGHU!! I also know I just have to give in to this frustration and just practice, practice, practice and at some point I will stop caring. By this I mean that I will stop trying too hard. And ironically, it will be the day I stop caring, hence stop trying too hard, that I come to a breakthrough with this pose. I know it coz it has happened before in many other poses before this. But still... even though it's all still head knowledge I can't help feeling what I feel with this GODDAMNBLOODYFUCKINGANNOYING asana.
Sorry. *I will not curse and swear again at Laghuvajrasana*
At the end of class today, I thanked him for his feedback and also told him I haven't had a regular teacher I've been going to since I've been in Amsterdam. H said "Yes, I can tell." Wow. The force is with him. Also - it made me think... Has my practice become THAT sloppy since leaving Sydney?
*Kwa Kwa Kwa* Today's practice is a very defeated one indeed. But I just gotta keep reminding myself: it's just today. Tomorrow is another day and another practice.