Sunday, December 20, 2009

Of Twilight and Krounchasana...

I finally watched Twilight: New Moon last Friday. And I have been avoiding writing a new post until I could get over my irritation with it or all you would've read would've been expletives. Sorry Twilight fans, you'd better go away and stop reading now.

Twilight irritates the shit outta me. Seriously. From the bad acting to the bad special effects to the horrible story arc (Sorry, what story arc...?) I mean, it seems like in 2 minutes someone can fall head over heels in love with another person to the point where she's willing to give up her life for him? And all this from only having shared ONE kiss? ...And then you realize she's only like what, SEVENTEEN?! Oh, and don't get me started on the "intensity" they share between each other coz it just looks like they're constipated throughout the entire film.

Don't get me wrong, I've watched Part 1 and went through the same dry-retching agony to the point where I just wanted to slap every single one of those stupid "tortured soul" actors. But I am compelled to keep watching, so I am every bit as MASOCHISTIC as that damned Bella Swan character coz I'm also irritated with myself for going back for more.

Yes, my irritation of this series extends to my irritation with MYSELF for this unbecoming, masochistic behaviour. Don't get me wrong. I love a good rom-com (ahem. That's "romantic comedy"). And I'm secretly happy whenever Kelly is away or is working weekends coz that means I can steal out to the movies and watch a silly chick flick that he would never want to watch.

But Twilight is different. It's definitely a chick flick, but it's no rom-com (HAHA, actually... maybe it COULD be defined as a rom-com since I was laughing quite a bit throughout the movie, even though it wasn't supposed to be funny of course).

Even after all of this complaining, I am still intrigued by the bloody cliffhanger at the end of Part 2 and I'm itching to find out what happens in Part 3. ARGHHHHHHHH!!! (Shoot me now, please!)

WHY do I do this to myself? ...I have no idea!!

It started off coz Edward Cullen aka RPatz is downright HAWT.

(Photo Credit here.) (There's a blog for "Hot Men's Hairstyles"?!)

Oh, and that werewolf boy looks much better with a haircut. And yes, of course he had to be topless for most of the film. Conan the Barbarian had a similar body and he too was topless throughout that movie.

(Photo Credit here) (I couldn't find him on the "Hot Men's Hairstyles" website, unfortunately)

AHA! So it's most probably just the eye-candy that keeps me going back for more. Even though I keep rolling my eyeballs at the screen every 5 minutes.

My main irritation actually lies with Bella - she just needs to grow a bloody spine and stop revolving her life around men. I mean... BOYS. I have never read the books so I've no idea if she was actually written to be more than a one-dimensional character which doesn't come through in the films.

As far as I'm concerned, The Oatmeal got it right when they christened her "PANTS" for being every bit as insipid as... a pair of pants, of course!

I reckon Bella just needs some yoga in her life. She needs to reconnect with her authentic Self and stop with her destructive behaviour (like falling for all the wrong types... y'know... Like vampires and werewolves). I suggest she does more Navasana and lots of other core strengthers to help her massive third chakra issues. Regain your power, chick!

OK, I'm stopping my rant here as I didn't even want to get into this in the first place!!

By the way, I got Krounchasana yesterday and I LOVE it! It's just that I never realized how far back your head needs to tilt on the inhale, before you exhale and bring your chin to shin on the extended leg. I seem to always have this problem where I think I'm looking UP high enough, but realize how much farther back my head needs to tilt only when I've been corrected. Hmm.

It's a much better problem to have than Bella's third chakra issue, I think. :)

(Photo credit here)


  1. You have no idea how relieved I am to read your twilight rant!!! It's all the rage among the mummies at school, so I'm a bit of a pariah whenever talk turns to vampires.... good thing I'm good at keeping my mouth shut.

    I read the first book after my niece left it lying around last year. Bella is every bit as spineless on the printed page, I'm afraid. What frustrated me the most was that it seemed like such a great idea - vampires living in secrecy among us (bit of a Potter parallel, and I did enjoy those books), the inevitable love story - but the writing is hideous. Truly atrocious. Yes, I finished the damn book, 'cause I wanted to see how it ended, but god, I wanted to smack that girl upside the head so many times it was absurd. Haven't seen the movie, Pattinson aside, and won't be reading any more of the books.

    Yay for krounchasana, eh? I love it too, though I think my hips are a bit twisted on one side.

  2. Oh I so agree with you about Twilight! Talk about teenage angst! I read the first book and can't believe anyone wants to read or watch it! Who bloody cares!! Get a life Bella!

    And I also don't think Edward Cullen is hot at all!!

    Back to yoga ... :)

  3. I must be one of those people who loves to hate Twilight. Y'know... like in that Howard Stern autobiographical movie how people LOVED to hate him, and his haters actually spent more time listening to his show than his fans? ...I kinda have that love-hate relationship with Twilight. Blergghhhh. I feel exactly like the both of you BUT!! I still have to know what happens next!

  4. HA HA HA!!!!
    This made me bust out laughing. I confess, I loved Twilight... but only because I geared myself up to be completely in my idiotic teenage mind and to enjoy it through that lens, not my 43 yr old self who is not fond of codependent relationships, weak women, or predictable prose. Plus, I saw it with a theater full of deaf teens (didn't know it was closed captioned) and their very loud reactions to things was kind of sweet and hilarious.

    Edward. Dreamy in a weird way (notice how he looks like he's chewing on something a lot of the time?) Not particularly a fan of the shirtless werewolf (I know, it doesn't make sense, but I'm creeped out by boy bodies)

    New Moon was HORRIFIC, and yet I can't wait to see the next one.

  5. Hey Liz,
    I remember reading your post on the deaf kids at that screening. So funny and sweet! Only the strangest experiences happen with you. HAHAHA.

    Werewolf boy has a MAN's body. But a boy's face. It is weird, lovely to look at and hysterical (coz it's so ridiculous) all at the same time. So I get a bit confused when I see him in his denim cut-offs... what am I supposed to be feeling again?

    And yes - you're right. Must change gears to "teenage angst" mode when watching it but I can't help but still be irritated. And I STILL wanna watch Part 3. I'll stop whining AGAIN now. Grr.

  6. The picture that you have posted that you is suppose to be Jacob, its not.
    You posted a picture of Steven Strait from a a screen shot of him in The Covenant. When Twilight was being talked about for a movie the rumor was Steven Strait would play Jacob. Stephanie Meyer said she could see Steven Strait playing the part.

  7. Hey Tara, thanks for pointing out the mistake. Consider me bitch-slapped by a Twilight-trainspotter. ;p


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