I've got a problem. I can't seem to find the motivation to get back into a regular Ashtanga practice.
I have no excuse. The new shala has now got morning Mysore classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Sunday mornings are self-practice with no teacher around. At least there's a space now for group practice, right? Haven't I been moaning about the difficulty of self-practice alone at home?!
But I just seem to find excuses NOT to wake up early... The World Cup provided a great excuse not to wake up early. But Kevin still found the time to do it. And he's a hardcore football fan. I'm not. (And it's not like I was watching THAT many matches either! Haha!)
The other reason has been my frequent bouts of insomnia - after only getting about 2 - 3 hours sleep a night, the last thing I want to do is roll out of bed at 6am and then roll out my mat. Now, in the past week and a half, I've realized that I've been stressing myself out at night with thoughts of "Got to get to bed early. Need to wake up early to practice tomorrow!"
...This consequently leads to me worrying about being able to fall asleep so that I'll get enough rest in order to make it to the mat the next day. So what happens? I end up NOT BEING ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP! I found that I'd keep looking at the time to ensure I'd still get at least 6 - 7hrs sleep at the minimum.
What an idiot.
I can't function with any less than 6 hours' sleep. The moment it starts looking like I'd only get about 5 hours sleep "if I fall asleep NOW", I'd give up, set the alarm for 2.5 hours later - thinking that I'd just skip practice and go straight to work. For some reason, once this happens, I manage to fall asleep just fine.
I AM CHRONIC.
It's like I'm subconsciously sabotaging my plans to get back on the mat. I wonder if it's coz I'm just dreading working my way through the Intermediate series?
I had grand plans to make it to the shala this morning. But the above scenario was exactly what happened. Then I thought "OK, I'll just go for the evening Mysore class. At least it's SOME practice." ...and then what happens?
A HUGE TORRENTIAL COLD-FRONT DOWNPOUR UNLEASHES ON AMSTERDAM.
I live in Amsterdam and I don't own an umbrella. Nor a raincoat. (yes, yes. It's high time I get one. It probably rains more often here than in London).
Another planned practice thwarted.
As there is no shala practice tomorrow morning, I am going to *attempt* a home practice. I'm telling myself it's not a big deal (otherwise I'm gonna start clock-watching again). How frustrating. What the heck is my problem?!?
On a lighter note... A bunch of us were stuck at the office in the middle of the storm today. As it was letting up a little, we decided to just leg it home with rain-protection fashioned together from garbage bags (we cut holes where the head and arms go through an overturned bag). This is Amsterdam. Nobody gives a toss what they look like. HAHAHA!
At least she tried to look a little more fashionable, with a belt made of duct tape.
I ended up looking like I was ready to scrub up to enter the operating theatre. Yes, that's a scarf-slash-hoodie. I'm saving this "outfit" for another rainy day!