Wednesday, September 15, 2010

RIP Roxanne

PANTS!!! I came back to Amsterdam after being in London for a month and... MY BIKE GOT STOLEN!!!! Roxanne... she's GONE!!

I had a lock on the back tyre, a chain on the front tyre, it was chained to a post that was cemented to the ground... And after a month of being away, not only was the bike gone, the WHOLE POST was gone too! They'd changed the "Construction Here" sign to a regular short post. With no bike in sight.

So I called the Fietsdepot, aka Bike Depot... and they couldn't find a bike matching my description around my neighbourhood. Determined and on a mission, I made the trek out there to Butthole, Arse End of Nowhere - taking the tram then switching over to a bus. I mean... the fact that there were ELECTRIC WINDMILLS out there shows you how Butthole-Nowhere this place is.

I have more stunning pictures of the area, but since I have no internet connection at home (STILL!), I'm writing this post from the office and you'll just have to wait for the photo uploads.

The Fietsdepot is a pretty amazing sight. A graveyard of bicycles.

They still couldn't find any bike matching my description in their system, but let me walk through their graveyard of bikes. Still no luck. I recognized a tomato-red bike with a Heinz logo sticker on it from around my neighbourhood though. Too bad I don't know its owner to let them know it's there.

Soooooo... £&$^%(@*&)£%(&)(@£**!_$&£!_(!@*!)£(*@)($&@*£)@£*$&£$(£*&$

Flipping annoying. In the spirit of Joyful Surrender and pratising non-attachment to material things... I made my way over to the dude who customized Roxanne straight after this excursion. I mean... I need a bike to get around, right. But... I think I'm still in shock. I have no idea what other bike I want now. In the meantime, I'm just gonna rent one of his old crusted bikes until I decide.

On second thoughts... No wonder people don't give a shit about their bikes here and have crappy rides. I guess they've had them stolen too often to care what their bikes look like!

However, I am a product of marketing and buy into the bullshit spiel that my ride is an extension of my personality (knowing full well that it's bullshit marketing hype. But hello? I work in advertising). So unfortunately, I can't just ride a crappy, crusted bike. It seems lame to re-do another bike that looks exactly the same as the previous one though.

Ideas? Suggestions? ...I'm thinking of going all white. White frame with white tyres. But... I'm not really in the right frame of mind to think about this now. Hrmph.
Maybe I should get this horse bike, from this original post here.

PS. Another victim of this job we've been on is my workmate. He came home to Waterworld 2 and 3. Part 2 was his upstairs neighbour's pipe had burst and was dripping into his living room. His ceiling beam has rotted through. Part 3 was his boat was submerged into the canal from all the rain Amsterdam has had while we were away. ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

PPS. The ONE good thing that happened this morning was I had my very first practice in my "new" apartment. "New" only because I've technically moved in for a month now, but I've only physically been in it for 3 days before we were off to London for a month. It was soooooooooo nice to have a level hard wood floor to practice on, makes it a nice change from Beige Heaven's slanted floor. Just full Primary today to christen my living room, and also to ground me from all that traveling and work kerfuffle.


  1. Roxanne!!!!!

    Awww... poor girl, being so abruptly uprooted from her mamma! That really sucks. I love that you went to such great lengths to find her. The photo is amazing! I wonder if they ever auction off the bikes once they've been unclaimed for a period of time. Seems sad to have so many available and yet no riders.

    Glad you're experiencing a better practice space than Beige Heaven!

  2. Sorry you had Roxanne nicked, always seems the lowest of the low, we get so attached to them. I've lost a few but none since I started putting wicker baskets on them. What self respecting hood is going to make a getaway riding a bike with a basket.

    Hey, call up tomorrow and say,' My bike was stolen while I was in the UK, it's unusual, red with a heinz sticker on it, do you have anything that matches that description". "Funny enough we do".

    Except, of course, the guy in your area might see you and think you stole his.

  3. OH NO!!!
    that sucks bum. I'm so sorry to hear about Roxanne.

    that is the reason why people don't care about their bikes, and why Veronica lives in our living room.... i'm paranoid.

    boo that!

  4. Sorry to hear about it. Just saw this guide which might inspire you :)

  5. That's awful jaime. Did you try the construction company whose post she was chained to?

  6. ah sweetheart, sorry about the bike, and you had named it! sometimes these things happen after you name a fave thing. i got a handme down Buick Park Avenue from my mom once. After using it for a while I named it Lady Bird, after Mrs. Johnson, a dignified former first lady. She was stolen for a joy ride and rendered useless not to long after i named it. In retrospect, since you would have been gone for a long while, wouldn't it have made sense to store it inside while you were gone? i bet it was the rhinestones and the pink color combo.

  7. Actually Liz... I just found out TODAY that to one side of the depot, they sell of bikes that haven't been claimed for more than a year. For something like 20 euros. HAHAHA, I could've picked up a "new" one there.

    Nice try, Grimmly! You need to show some kind of proof that you own the bike - like your bike keys that can unlock the back locks or something... So... I probably couldn't. Plus... my bike was back and PINK. WITH a basket. Dunno how much more girly you can get... maybe a girl-thief stole mine, not a boy.

    Thanks Eco... I suppose... watch out for more bike tales when I finally decide to get a new one!

    Hey Par... ooOOOoo! Nice one, will be using it for reference, thanks!!

    Kevin - about 200 bikes are stolen EVERY DAY in Amsterdam. I am now part of that statistic. All recovered bikes are dumped at the fietsdepot, so the construction company would've sent it there if anything. I suspect they might have dumped it in the street after removing the post... and someone else might have come along and nicked it.

    Arturo - YES. I am kicking myself for not storing it at the office - we have a back garden with secure bike parking. I just figured I'd only be gone during the week and come back during weekends, so it would be OK. Didn't know I was gonna stay on during the weekends too... which rolled along into a whole month away from home!


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