I'm a Zero. Hank's a Hero

It seemed like a good idea at the time to turn up to a yoga class while running on 2.5hrs of sleep.

Yeah, after writing last night's jetlagged blog post, I was up ALL NIGHT and didn't go back to bed. By the time 6am rolled around, I figured "Well since I still ain't getting no sleep, I might as well go to yoga since Mysore starts in half an hour". Right?

Good thing I warned James I wasn't running on much sleep. And even though it's the coolest time of day to practice in a non-airconditioned studio in Singapore, I was dripping buckets already halfway into the FIRST sun salutation. I was purposely slowing everything down, being mindful of each breath and step I took since injuries tend to happen when you're tired, right?

By the time I got to Uttkatasana, James came round and asked "Are you OK?" I was DRIPPING like I've never, ever in my life on my yoga mat before. Y'know that scene from Airplane the movie where the dude's trying to land the plane and there's mad water gushing down his face? Like mad pouring down his face coz there were plastic tubes like a tap badly hidden in his hairline. That was me today (minus the plastic tubes of water, just real good old-fashioned sweat). But I honestly felt fine. Just a wee bit hot, and a little bit slow in my pace, but everything felt fine. Really.

By the time I got to Kukkutasana, James came round and said "OK, that's enough for you today. You're not the right colour anymore. Stop here and do only 3 backbends and stay longer in Karna Pidasana."

... ... ...

In my head I was like "What?! But NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I won't get to be in a shala for a while! Don't stop me NOW! I can do this!! I'm not tired!"

And it was a really HUGE, BIIIIIIIIIIIG effort to stop myself and joyfully surrender to the state that my practice is currently in at the moment.

Just surrender.

No attachment. No disappointment. No beating myself up. No wanting to get back to my Intermediate poses. No irritation. No annoyance.

I can't say I was very successful at achieving this. Look at the way I've even phrased that last sentence. There's nothing to "achieve" here... so what am I on about?!

I felt like I went from HERO to ZERO in the past couple of weeks where my practice is concerned. So again, I have to remind myself this is all part of the process. What Hero and what Zero am I so hung up about?

Just take a deep breath, Jaime. SIGH. I think the past few weeks are starting to sneak up on me now. Different timezones, different weather seasons, different living environments. ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

In other news, I've got more Hank updates to share. Here's our little Hero who's growing (OMG! Those Gremlin ears are really coming through now!)




Apparently he went thrashing through the garden for about an hour, then came into the house with a completely yellow face, full of pollen. It took Kelly another hour of cleaning and wiping him down to get most of the yellow stuff off, and this is what still remains. Hank KO'd for quite a while after his garden romp. Too cute!