Everyday is Different

I surprised myself in this morning's practice. Firstly, the fact that I actually rolled out of bed and got on the mat was a feat! HAHAHA!

After writing last night's post, I was inspired to do a short practice at 11pm (?!?) - nothing fancy, just half an hour of Suryas, forward bends and lots of pigeon variations. Then a bit more Pranayama. I figured that would be good to unwind before bedtime.

It had the opposite effect.

I was so wired, I was bug-eyed, staring at the ceiling till 3.30am. I had set my alarm for 6.30am to start practice. On any other day, I would've just given up and thought "Sod it. I need more sleep" and gone back to bed.

But something kept prompting me to GET ON THAT MAAAAAAAAT!!!

I was completely dreading it coz the last few attempts as you well know by now, were just terribly unfocused and painful on the foot. Once again, inspired by Fran's comment on yesterday's post, I thought I'd just plod along through the entire Primary series, modifying as I went along whenever my foot hurt.

I had a brilliant practice! Had to modify whenever any standing pose required lifting of the arches - eg. In Trikonasana, I couldn't grab my big toe on the left side without the arch hurting, so just placed hand higher up on the shin. That worked.

Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana was impossible with a full extended right leg - standing fully on just the left foot was too much to handle (I have flat feet, so this pose is extra hard work on my arches!)... But this was OK with a bent leg/ holding the knee (like when you first start out learning the pose). That worked.

So it was kinda cool, taking it from a "let's see what I can do. If I can't, let's see how else I can do it" approach.

The absolute kicker was - Backbends were incredibly open - from the first one, it felt like I'd already done all the Intermediate series backbends before and opened up the back. I haven't ever felt such an openness in the back after practicing only the Primary series. And this led to 3 amazing dropbacks as well as standing up from backbends.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I haven't lost them this time. (Still can't find the Supta K bind though...)


(In no way do I look like this as I'm dropping back, but it definitely FELT like it was this open. And holy-cow how beautiful is this shot!)

Funny how the body seems more physically able on less sleep (didn't Susan & Kevin talk about this before?) ...But I wonder if this could also be because I was practicing with no expectations today, going along with the flow.

I like how everyday is different with this practice. How can anyone say Ashtanga's "boring" coz it's the "same thing" every day?

An Observation From a Stuck Shoulder

I think I discovered why my Supta Kurmasana bind has been lost in the Matrix. Everything else in my practice has come back in full force now that I'm back to a regular practice, but not the damn Supta K bind. OK, maybe I'm still not back to grabbing my wrists yet in Mari D, just a hand-bind only. But by golly, even Laghuvajrasana, that hateful pose... is starting to make a bit more sense and is becoming a more "quiet" pose (ie: No voices in my head screaming out "I FUCKING HATE YOU, LAGHU!" ...Or rather, the voices are probably still there, but I've just learned how to tune them out and get on with it.)

So - what the heck is going on with Supta Kurmasana?

The past couple of days, I've noticed that as I'm entering the Supta version from Kurmasana, bending the legs and scooping the shoulders under as much as I can before swinging the hands behind my back... I noticed that my left shoulder couldn't get past a certain point as much as my right shoulder could. My right hand could swing behind, past my spine... And logically, if I could do the same with my left hand too - then both hands should meet like they used to. Right?

Problem is - My left hand hasn't been able to swing past the midway mark of my spine like it used to. My shoulder just felt "stuck".

I just thought "It's one of those days. My body hasn't learnt to open up to where it used to be".

Then yesterday, I went to the physio to get more dry-needling done in my shoulders. A month away in London, lugging my computer around town and hunching over the laptop in post-production suites and audio studios and not sitting at a proper desk had taken its toll. I could feel those chronic trigger points in my shoulders start to act up again.

Good thing I went! The entire muscle down by my left scapula was a solid rock. The Physio stuck needles into those trigger points and it was such a relief to feel the tension melt away!

I hadn't even made that connection between my shoulder and Supta Kurmasana until today's practice. The moment I scooped my left shoulder under my leg to get into the Supta variation, it felt like there was loads more movement going on in that shoulder. Even though it still felt a bit raw and bruised from yesterday's needling, I could already feel a bit more movement going on there. And my left hand was able to climb a little higher up my back, like it used to.

I'm probably still nowhere close to where my hands should be in order to get a hand-bind yet, but I can already feel the difference.


(Haha, OK so Dwi Pada Sirsasana isn't quite Supta Kurmasana but this pic made me laugh!)

I guess there isn't a point to today's post. It's just an observation in muscle mechanics. Maybe now I can give into the frustration with this asana and stop wondering "Where the hell did you go to?!"

{UPDATE}: In bitching about everything that WASN'T there in my practice today, I forgot to mention one thing that happened today THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!! I got my heels to lift in Kurmasana. I mean... that's pretty big news innit. I was reading up all of my Ashtanga books, trying to get tips on the Supta K bind, when I realized the reason why I was always lifting my bum instead of my heels in Kurmasana is coz my hands were too far back. Gregor Maehle says your hands need to be in line with your shoulders in Kurmasana. DOH! So I tried it today, pointed my toes... And Hey Presto! Like magic, my heels lifted. :) :) :)

PS. I am loving practicing at home in my new apartment. Hard wood floors (YAY! No yucky carpet!), an EVEN floor, and more space to move around. It makes such a big difference in motivating yourself out of bed onto the frigging cold mat at 6am. (I still have no bike yet and can't get to a shala in the morning).

PPS. The other thing I'm loving about self-practice at home: Not having to deal with OTHER PEOPLE'S yucky flaky mat bits and hair bits getting all over me. Everyone should just buy a Manduka mat which never flakes, in an effort to be considerate to your neighbour. Or... just practice at home if you have a flaky mat. :)

Where Does Time Go?

This evening, I came home from work and busted out a spontaneous act of Primary series. I haven't practiced Ashtanga in... oh fuck it, who's counting how many weeks now.

I've averaged ONE vinyasa class a week in the past few weeks. LAME-O.

I'm trying to find my new routine in this town. Life takes on a whole different perspective when you think you're living in a place temporarily versus living there for... well... not quite forever (I don't think?) but at least for the next few years (I think?)

Work has been hectic (was in Manchester last week - in and out in 24 hours. BAM!) ...Thank goodness the Portland, Oregon trip this week got dropped, but I'm still going to London town next week.

And now that I've changed gears in my head to "growing roots in Amsterdam", I'm kicking my ass out of the house in an effort to be more social and actually make friends. From my last few posts, you'd think I'm quite the social butterfly. Let me be the first to admit the first few trips out of cosy Beige Heaven was a draaaaaaaaaag. I'm quite happy pottering around on my own and living in my head. And on this blog. Haha.

But well... If I'm gonna be here a while, I better damn well get out there and make an effort. Right? (Which kind of explains why I've been quiet here. Something's gotta give!!)

So evenings and weekends have been uncharacteristically social. I've been out practically every night in the past week. Mid last week, a bunch of workmates decided to go bar-hopping, and I got home at 1am. And then decided to bust out a spontaneous practice on my mat after that. Not quite the full Ashtanga series, but I finished at 2am! HAHAHA! (Liz: didn't you practice super late into the wee hours before too? ...but yours was a "proper" practice. I was just doing what I liked. Heh.)

At this point in life, I figure: it's the best time of year to be in Amsterdam, I might as well make the most of it... so life has taken precedence over getting on my mat. Surprisingly, I'm not beating myself up over it coz I guess I've practiced long enough to know that it goes in cycles... I'm tipping over on the other end of the scale (Yeah, this could be figuratively and quite literally too! Felt a belly-roll in Parsvakonasana tonight! EEK!) And at some point I'm trusting that I'll go back to finding that balance in weaving my asana practice seamlessly back into living life. I'm still living the yoga, it's just much less about asana at this point! (I'm such a DORK.)

Oh. With all this socializing, I'm not even gonna get into the minefield that is making friends (like really: platonic friends) with a straight, single guy. It's such a mind-fuck coz some how I don't think that platonic friendships work with straight, single guys if they know you're single too. It's just so loaded. These are times when a girl just needs a gay-boyfriend (More fun + zero awkward loadedness). But wait - this is a whole different post altogether.

Noticeable points in today's practice: I've lost the bind in Supta Kurmasana. My fingertips brushed against each other, but the harder I tried to reach, the further away they got. Then I made a mental note to JUST LET GO and let it be. It will come back again when it does.

After backbends, I decided to try dropbacks. The first two were rubbish - I ended up dropping down to my knees (Don't ask me how trying to dropback lands you in the opposite direction!) ...Again, mental note not to rush it since it's been a while since I last dropped back. I just thought of slowly opening up the space between each vertabra and just doing hangbacks halfway... and on the third try, I dropped down to the floor.

Standing back up again is completely lost. I kept falling to my knees and it was the weirdest sensation coz it was like my entire body had forgotten what to do with itself in order to haul itself back up. I kept thinking "Navel to the sky!" which usually helps me lift back up again... But I just fell onto my knees!

Lost count how many dropbacks I did in order to stand back up again... But I did them over and over again, maybe about 10 just coz I felt like it. It was kind of cool observing myself from a distance - I had no goal to reach. I was just trying it to see where I ended up, with lots of breaks in between each. I still ended up on my knees every single time. (Also made a mental note that I had to keep on the Primary series for a while till I get my stamina back AND dropback/stand up again before going back to Intermediate.)

After practice, I made dinner, looked at the clock and was like... WTF? 11.30pm?!

Late night yoga probably isn't a good idea in building some kind of life+practice routine... but going out till late also isn't a good idea in building some kind of life+practice routine (if I'm thinking of getting back into a morning practice).

Oh well. Just got to keep up the practice and I guess all is coming. Oh look, I have a dinner-party invitation tomorrow night (Yes, I'm the other "Plus One". Both "Plus Ones" are girls. PHEW!)... Guess an evening practice is out of the question now! ;p

Upside Down Practice Times + Giromania!

My practice times have done an about-turn. Maybe it's coz I'm now in the Northern hemisphere, after having spent the last 3 years in the Southern hemisphere in Sydney and Cape Town. HAHA. NOT.

What I mean is - I seem to be practicing in the afternoons and evenings these days, rather than at the crack of dawn that I got so used to. I used to think "there's NO WAY I could practice any other time than at the crack of dawn anymore!" ...and look at me now, eating those words.

In the past week since I've been trying to get my ashtanga practice back up to speed again, I've just come home from work and done evening practices. This morning, since it's Sunday, I thought I might as well do a nice and leisurely early morning practice.

No such luck.

Monkey mind to the max. It was really unusual coz isn't your mind supposed to be less busy early in the day? ...I got up to Pada Hastasana only and jumped right off the mat after that. I couldn't concentrate AT ALL. The body felt so stiff and sloth-like... Hmm, I'd had about 9 hours sleep, maybe those comments on Susan's blog about more sleep making you less bendy have a point.

So later in the afternoon, I decided to go for Round 2 of my practice and what do you know... everything fell into place! Quiet mind, supple body... got through all of Primary without a hitch. Except for Marichyasana D - I've been trying to work both sit bones down on the floor, like Cary at YP had adjusted me in... taking the Mari D a little further. Sometimes I'm anchored on both sit bones only on the left side, but most times, I end up rolling around on the mat and having a good laugh. I'm blaming my rotated pelvis. Ha.

On the Amsterdam front, I decided to go watch Iron Man 2 at the cinema yesterday. The only time I go to the movies on my own is usually when I'm watching a chick-flick or a rom-com (they're kinda sorta almost similar innit). But over here, I'm Billy-no-mates... or how does that phrase go again? Johnny-no-mates? Billy-no-mates? Whatever... I had no friends to go watch a movie with, so I went anyway.

IRON MAN 2 SUCKS.

Sorry Rob. I love you and you're hot, but this in no way matched up to Part 1.

I had to fight my way to get to the theater though, coz the roads were all closed up. There were people cheering at what looked like cars with bike racks on the top whizzing past every other minute or so. Or from what I could see amidst the crowds, that is. It took me 15 minutes to cross the road via an overhead pedestrian bridge, and it was only then from the high vantage point that I realized what was going on.


It was the start of Giro d'Italia, the cross-country bike race!


I have a confession to make. All month, I've seen the huge banners all over town that said "Giro d'Italia!" or "Giro Mania!" and just assumed that it was for a food festival. HAHAHA! I mean... Giros... kinda sorta sounds like Gyros... y'know, those wraps? I mean, even its nondescript logo conjures up images of food more than a Tour de France rip-off. No?


On top of the bridge, I finally saw that it wasn't just the cars with bike racks on top whizzing past. Those cars were actually following behind the bikes in the actual marathon! Check out the picture below - on the bottom left corner you see a guy in a blue lycra suit on his bike? And behind him is the car with bike racks.


So here's the other question... if it's an Italian bike race, why the heck is it starting in Amsterdam?!

Anyways... tomorrow morning I'm off to London for about a week. I'll get to see Kelly for the first few days, YAY! But it'll be a little bit sad too coz we'll be attending another Memorial for his dad in London. After the Memorial, I'm back to work on the edit of our commercial, also in London. So... if it's a tad quiet around here, you know I'm busy.

Have a great week ahead, guys! x

"The Only Way Out is In"

I'm getting my practice groove back, YAY!

This evening I had a solid, full Primary practice. Felt nice and strong... still had a snotty nose in forward bends, but I wasn't so out of breath and knackered like I was on Sunday. I got the hand-bind and the feet-bind in Supta Kurmasana, and also had 3 pretty amazing dropbacks (I was inspired by the picture of Susan's hangback in the Kino workshop photos on Facebook. Thanks for tweeting it, Mel!)

What's helped me focus is also thinking about keeping the energy focused internally. Part of this is coz I've been reading an interesting book by Anthony Carlisi, who also goes by the name of Prem... The Only Way Out Is In: A Modern Day Yogi's Commentary on the Synergy of Ashtanga Yoga, Ayurveda, and Tantra. He's been certified by Guruji, and he talks about the relationship between Ashtanga Yoga, Ayurveda and Tantra through his own life experiences. I'm halfway through the book only, but I've got to say it's a really fascinating read.



Granted, the picture on the cover is not the most inviting since it conjures up Hindu symbolism. I dunno, what is it?! I wouldn't have given it a second look if not for the good reviews it has, including recommendations by many established Ashtanga teachers in the intro.

The many typos and spelling errors in the book are slightly distracting (I spot these things and get annoyed by them)... and he has a habit of cracking silly little jokes along the way (again, something a good Editor could have fixed)... but I guess he's writing it like he's telling it to you in conversation. You just have to get past all the typos and wisecracks and see the content for what it is. It's definitely worth a read if you're looking for another take on Ashtanga yoga, beyond just the asana part of it.

His section on Ayurveda has made me interested in delving a little deeper into this... and I'm now researching other books on Ayurveda by Vasant Lad and Robert Svoboda. I am especially interested in the area of food and nutrition and how the types of food you eat affect your Vata/ Pitta/ Kapha make-up.

But... I have digressed. My whole point in the first place was that in reading Prem's section on Ashtanga Yoga, I was reminded today of how the bandhas keep your energy locked internally within you while you practice. Kinda like Diana Christinson's "Pull Through" video I posted a while ago, where she talks about a similar thing of drawing your energy inwards and keeping it compact. Today I made a conscious effort to apply this not just in jumpbacks, but throughout the practice... and I find this really makes a difference to how I feel during, and after the practice too.

Focusing especially on engaging Mula and Uddiyana Bandhas today also automatically made me go within my breath... everything else got tuned out. I wasn't thinking or fussing about anything else.

Today, I had a good practice. :)

And... Exhale *relief*

I've been getting on my mat nearly every day in the past week and a half while I've been away. Granted, because of my crazy work hours, these were super short sessions ranging from 1 downward dog, to a 15-minute short form incorporating some standing and some seated forward bends, to a 1-hr impromptu session... And I was feeling relatively good about my practice.

Y'know... the feeling of "at least I got on my mat!" And it also felt like I was keeping up some strength and flexibility and not totally losing that altogether.

So imagine my surprise yesterday morning when I got on my mat to finally get a "proper" practice of full Primary going.

I had lost pretty much ALL stamina and could only manage up to half-Primary (I cheated a bit after Navasana and went to Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana, just to check that I could still bind it, which I could. Phew.)

Wow. Ashtanga is HARD.

That session back on the mat was a big struggle with my Ego. I had to stop myself at the point where I observed this part was tight or that part wasn't so open or how it didn't take much to get me panting... and the struggle was to just leave it at that and to stop myself from feeling dismayed or attached to where my practice had been to where it is now. I know I will get it back, that it is what it is. This week, I will work on getting back my Primary practice. Maybe then I'll see about getting Intermediate back next week.

Interestingly, while the past week was a great challenge and very fulfilling professionally... it's made me stop and wonder what a hit my health has taken.

The stress levels were so immense, that I actually went back to smoking again (Sorry Mum, I'm just being honest.) After quitting for about 4 years, I went back to picking up a cigarette again (I suppose every time I wanted a smoke, I should've just sat down in lotus position and started meditating or doing some Pranayama. But that would possibly have looked a little odd in the middle of a film set).

Old patterns are hard to let go of, I suppose. And I slipped back into it again. I'm glad to say that since I've been back from Barca and recuperating at home, I've not craved a single cigarette nor had one. So I know this reaction is completely work stress-related.

Food-wise, it is impossible to be vegan in Spain. Of the 15 items on the hotel menu (and don't forget we pretty much spent every waking hour there if we weren't on the location set), there was only 1 item I could eat: Nicoise Salad (And even then... with no tuna nor egg, please). So in order to try and have a healthier rotation of lunch and dinner, I'd also throw in a mozzarella & tomato sandwich (so I ate quite a bit of cheese). Or get the stir fried beef noodles with no beef. So on set, I'd just end up eating junk too - chips and cookies. Blech. I ate a lot of junk.

And I suppose this stamina-loss in my practice is probably smoking and bad diet-related too. Every single forward bend I had, my nose got all snotty... Purging all that ick from my system. Feels like it's time to go on another detox fast!

I just have to keep reminding myself that everything goes in cycles. I just have to work my way back to that part of the cycle where I so desperately want to be at now: being strong and fit, mentally and physically.

The one thing I'm looking forward to is being back in London again next week. We'll be editing there for a couple weeks, which means I can finally get back to a shala and be supported by the energy of a group practice. Kelly will also be there for a few days next week, YAY! He'll be there for another memorial for his dad, organized by the London office of where his dad used to work.

Like Hank, I could do with a cuddle now.

Bookworm Weekend

This weekend was the first weekend since being here that I've actually had a chilled weekend. I was going to go on a day tour of the Dutch countryside, but then I figured "NO. I need to rest." (in today's horrible word-combo world, that would be "chillax")

So I went to the book store and picked up 3 books:
Michael Pollan's "In defense of food"
Jonah Lehrer's "How we decide"
Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed"



Michael Pollan is my hero. What can I say... his "The Omnivore's Dilemma", discovered through reading Sharon Gannon's Yoga & Vegetarianism made me re-think the way I eat. So of course I have to read his follow-up book.

Jonah Lehrer is someone I just discovered over the weekend - Karen had linked to an article he had written on insomnia, and during one of my insomniac bouts I dug around for more info on the dude and thought this looked like a good read. HA.

And yeah... well y'know, "Committed" is Gilbert's follow-up book to "Eat Pray Love". HAHAHA! I like my chick-lit. Shut up!

I finished "Committed" in a day. Er... I have to say I didn't enjoy it as much as the first book. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot and going "blahblahblah... it's getting a bit self-absorbed now". But well, that's what a memoir is, innit? What she did get me interested in though, is an author she referenced a lot - Stephanie Coontz. I'd like to check out her book "Marriage, a history". Yeah, a book on... er, the history of marriage.

Gilbert herself mentioned some historical bits that were pretty eye-opening... and the institution of marriage today really didn't start out the way it did (the Church initially opposed marriage?!)

I figured if this insomnia continues, at least I'll have some books to read in the middle of the night. See, I'm learning to "joyfully surrender" to insomnia. HAHAHA. :)

On Saturday, I decided I needed to practice some yoga. Sure it was a Saturday and an official "no practice" day, but I'd skipped a few days before that coz of long days at work. It was probably one of the hardest ever practice sessions I've had. I had every intention of finishing up to Laghuvajrasana, but I kept wanting to jump off the mat.

I didn't start the practice wanting to jump off, but the more I got into it, the heavier I felt, and the less connected to my physical body I felt. Because I had such a hard time gelling the practice, everything in my mind said "BLECHHHHHHHH! STOP! STOP! STOP!" ...but I soldiered on. At the end of Setu Bandhasana I thought "F&£^ this shit, I've had enough".

Well... Not a proud moment (swearing on the mat?!) But... at least I finished Primary, I suppose?

Yesterday, after a whole day of procrastinating, I decided to get back on the mat in the late afternoon. I think I was afraid of having the same hard time I'd had on the mat the day before, so was trying to make excuses not to do it. So much of this practice is a mindgame, innit? ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S SELF-PRACTICE!!!

I'm glad I did it. I kinda breezed through it and felt a lot lighter and stronger than the day before. And seriously, I think Laghuvajrasana is really starting to become mine. Well, at least the pose is starting to feel less like a mission, and more like a huge expansion. YAY! (I'm even squeezing those thighs together as I'm going down and sure, they're still burning, but it seems a lot more manageable now)

So... here's the next obvious question: if you're practising on your own, how do you know when you're ready to move onto the next pose? (I feel like I'm opening Pandora's Box here..) Heh.

Since I'm a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert, thought I'd leave off with the trailer of "Eat Pray Love", coming in August. (Julia Roberts plays her? ...and Javier Bardem plays Felipe?! WTF?!)

Of Sinking Foundations, Provincial Dutch Transport & Wonder Woman

At first I thought this lopsided floor was tilted to the right. However, I think it's more on a diagonal incline than it is sinking to the right. Through a series of trial and error, wobbly balancing poses, how flat and straight I can get in Savasana... and also checking out the direction of the water level in my aromatherapy oil burner, I've figured out that rather than placing my mat in this position:


I'm on a much more "even" incline if I placed it in this position:


This way, all I have to worry about is tilting forwards or backwards in one direction ONLY, and not having to also deal with tilting to the right or left at the same time.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I am THAT chronic.

The living room is still the best place to practice coz of the openness I feel in it, so I'm trying to work with this tilted floor and not get all irritated and distracted by it. This helps! And I got another full practice in this evening, up to Laghu too. I finally got my dropbacks and standing-up-from-backbends back. 3 very nice ones today. Woohoo! (Oh man, I'm becoming an Amsterdammer now, with evening practice sessions instead of mornings).

Enough yoga talk for today. I've noticed here that there are modes of transport, and then there are modes of transport.

Over here, I've spotted some quaint, almost provincial kinds of modes of transport.

Of course there are cops on horse-back:

(This is through a small back alley, not a main road, so it was kind of weird.)

And you remember how everyone bicycles everywhere? Well, this is how parents transport children... It's like a giant basket in front of the bike. When I saw the first one, I thought it must've just been that special one. But... they're ALL OVER the place! I've seen up to 3 small children in one of these little buggies.


What happens when it rains? Here's a souped up version:


And right outside my apartment today, I saw the funniest sight. Of course this is how one transports a giant discoball to different places. Mr. Bean would be proud.



And speaking of provincial, check out Wonder Woman's transformation into her swimsuit! I like how when she dives into the "ocean", you can see the bottom of the swimming pool floor. Oh, I like her last *BOING* out of the water too. :)

Intermediate Self-Practice vs. Me: Round 1

I did it! My first home self-practice of the Intermediate series. Up until the last pose my Sydney teacher gave me - that dreaded Laghuvajrasana. This was the first time I practiced Intermediate PROPERLY on my own. *Curtsy*

I dunno why it was such a big deal or why I had such a mental block with it. Today I decided: Enough is enough. No more excuses, just do it. No more just stopping after Primary, or even shortcutting Primary just to get to Salabhasana (skipping so many poses in between!)

And breaking it down the simplest, most fuss-free way to do it... I figured I might as well practice just as my teacher had told me to - with that weird split, cutting out UHP up till Dandasana. I figured for now at least, it might just make it less of a mental block for me, making it a little "easier" to handle. Heh.

It worked. I had a Pavlovian dog response. At this point, I'll try anything to try and get into a home-practice groove.

And even Laghuvajrasana today actually felt open. *GASP*

I still don't like the pose of course, and my head is still far away from the floor. But as I was hanging just at that point where I couldn't handle it anymore - any further and I would've crashed my head onto the floor... I actually felt like "Hey, everything in my body is exploding but I'm feeling a lovely chest expansion".

It was weird, but a nice feeling. :)

And by the fifth breath, as I was pressing my shins into the floor like there was no tomorrow, both calves suddenly cramped up. What the eff?! Is that supposed to happen?

So I stopped, did a vinyasa, and decided to do Laghuvajrasana again (Yes I did it again. Damn you Laghu, I'm gonna nail you.) And AGAIN, on the fifth breath, both calves cramped up. Maybe I'm just trying too hard or pushing the shins into the floor too hard.

It was a practice that was 12 hours late (7pm instead of 7am), but better late than never, right? I'll try and see if I can finally kick myself out of bed earlier to practice tomorrow morning.

Oh, the other thing is - this lopsided, slanting floor is starting to really annoy me. I already have a crooked pelvis I'm trying to straighten, so trying to determine if laying flat on the floor doesn't actually feel "flat" is coz of the pelvis or coz of the floor is starting to do my head in.

I might start laying my mat in different places to see if maybe practicing in the bedroom or the kitchen might be better. Bahaha! That would be a sight. Kitchen practice would probably be too distracting, with those stroopwafels within reach.

Sigh. This Beige Heaven apartment will be fine. We will get into some kind of self-practice groove. I'm just not sure if these will be better alternative practice spaces!