ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
I have no excuse. The new shala has now got morning Mysore classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Sunday mornings are self-practice with no teacher around. At least there's a space now for group practice, right? Haven't I been moaning about the difficulty of self-practice alone at home?!
But I just seem to find excuses NOT to wake up early... The World Cup provided a great excuse not to wake up early. But Kevin still found the time to do it. And he's a hardcore football fan. I'm not. (And it's not like I was watching THAT many matches either! Haha!)
The other reason has been my frequent bouts of insomnia - after only getting about 2 - 3 hours sleep a night, the last thing I want to do is roll out of bed at 6am and then roll out my mat. Now, in the past week and a half, I've realized that I've been stressing myself out at night with thoughts of "Got to get to bed early. Need to wake up early to practice tomorrow!"
...This consequently leads to me worrying about being able to fall asleep so that I'll get enough rest in order to make it to the mat the next day. So what happens? I end up NOT BEING ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP! I found that I'd keep looking at the time to ensure I'd still get at least 6 - 7hrs sleep at the minimum.
What an idiot.
I can't function with any less than 6 hours' sleep. The moment it starts looking like I'd only get about 5 hours sleep "if I fall asleep NOW", I'd give up, set the alarm for 2.5 hours later - thinking that I'd just skip practice and go straight to work. For some reason, once this happens, I manage to fall asleep just fine.
I AM CHRONIC.
It's like I'm subconsciously sabotaging my plans to get back on the mat. I wonder if it's coz I'm just dreading working my way through the Intermediate series?
I had grand plans to make it to the shala this morning. But the above scenario was exactly what happened. Then I thought "OK, I'll just go for the evening Mysore class. At least it's SOME practice." ...and then what happens?
A HUGE TORRENTIAL COLD-FRONT DOWNPOUR UNLEASHES ON AMSTERDAM.
I live in Amsterdam and I don't own an umbrella. Nor a raincoat. (yes, yes. It's high time I get one. It probably rains more often here than in London).
*SIGH*
Another planned practice thwarted.
As there is no shala practice tomorrow morning, I am going to *attempt* a home practice. I'm telling myself it's not a big deal (otherwise I'm gonna start clock-watching again). How frustrating. What the heck is my problem?!?
On a lighter note... A bunch of us were stuck at the office in the middle of the storm today. As it was letting up a little, we decided to just leg it home with rain-protection fashioned together from garbage bags (we cut holes where the head and arms go through an overturned bag). This is Amsterdam. Nobody gives a toss what they look like. HAHAHA!
At least she tried to look a little more fashionable, with a belt made of duct tape.
I ended up looking like I was ready to scrub up to enter the operating theatre. Yes, that's a scarf-slash-hoodie. I'm saving this "outfit" for another rainy day!
I too am always thinking of excuses not to get up early!!
ReplyDeleteI got caught in a storm today - but it's funny, ever since I got here three years ago, there's been torrential downpours at this time of year, I don't know why I expect it to be any different!!
Hope you can find balance with your practice and get some restful sleep soon! :)
Very Project Runway with the trash bags... your hood is the best, but the belt is a close second. I love how hilarious the guy looks pulling a trash bag on his body!
ReplyDeleteI always find it really hard to get back to practice after any sort of break. I always feel the dread, too. Time off means I've lost something... flexibility or strength, or both. What I can't seem to remember clearly is how it only takes a few practices to be up and running again and then I think, "oh yeah, this feels great! why was I dreading it?".
Good luck! I know you'll do it!
Your posts are my daily dose of hilarious humor spiked with world travel and yoga sharing. Many thanks! Have you tried a few weeks of a nightly dose of 5 HTP?
ReplyDeleteHey Green Ink Girl! Thanks for your good vibes. I also have to stop comparing myself... er... to myself! Y'know... thoughts of "but I was doing so well with morning practices before leaving Sydney!" "I've done it before, I can do it again!" Blahblahblah. Just like life, my yoga practice has its ups and downs...
ReplyDeleteWords of wisdom from dear Liz. You're so right! You always are. Funny thing is - I KNOW this, so why the heck am I resisting so much? Pfft. Trash-bag fashion - if you look on my FB profile, you'll see the last comment I made on a picture of him in his final outfit (complete with trash hat). ;p
Hi fivefootwo! Wow, 2 new commenters today. Welcome and thanks for the comments! Isn't 5-HTP supposed to be a mood-enhancer/ anti-depressant? Seems weird to take that for sleep. Sometimes Bach flower remedies Rescue Sleep works, sometimes it doesn't. (maybe I should try Melatonin?) ...I'd just rather not take anything - natural or chemical - to aid sleep. Seems like it'll come when it does and I don't really wanna screw with my internal workings (even as I'm bitching & moaning about it. HA!)
Hi Jaime, I have been so sleepy lately, perhaps you should have some of mine!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling it will get a lot better now that you have written it down. Don't think about purple elephants cycling on unicycles, no seriously don't think about purple elephants. The mind is funny!
Maybe you should set your alarm and then put the clock and your watch somewhere else in the room so you can just let go and sleep. Surrender....
Looking forward to hearing about tomorrows practice.....
5 HTP contains tryptophan which to my "broad" scientific knowledge is what makes us drowsy after eating thanksgiving turkey over here. I realize that maybe your lack of sleep is not related to fretting or worrying, so no need to mood enhance right? It might just be the many time zones you criss cross in your travels that catches up with you, so maybe melatonin, or stayin' put for a little bit.....:)
ReplyDeleteLove the hood! You guys make trash bags look so sexy, belts and all ;)
ReplyDeleteHey Helen, guess what? The Universe has a sense of humour and brought on my ladies' hols. It was early too! I believe something is telling me there's a lesson in all of this. (It's not all about the asana? Maybe?)
ReplyDelete5'2": Typtophan... ahh... that makes sense! Maybe I should try mood enhancers. Ha. But I reckon my energy's all over the place at the moment. Quite frazzled and not focussed. Which is probably affecting everything from sleep patterns to practice sessions...
Danielle: Believe you me, they're so UNsexy. Especially when you're walking home in the rain and all you can hear is plastic-rustling. (while the hood gave good coverage, it was right next to my ears!) It was the loudest walk home EVER!
Dear Skippetty, just start again, one mysore class at the time.
ReplyDeletehugs
Arturo
Arturo-san, you are right. I am hoping tomorrow will the chance of that first mysore class. Restful night of sleep allowing. Wish me luck! ;p
ReplyDelete